Pan out on Grif and Simmons, who are approaching another Red soldier, Sarge, clad in red armor.
Sarge: Hurry up, ladies. This ain't no ice cream social.
Simmons: Ice cream social?
Simmons and Grif exchange looks.
Cut to Sarge.
Sarge: Stop the pillow talk, you two. Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?
Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
Sarge: (Sarcastically) That's exactly it, Private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Simmons here IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
Sarge: Goddamn it, Private! Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!
Simmons: Oh I'd do it, too.
Sarge: I know you would, Simmons. Good man...
...Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.
Grif: Crap. We're getting a rookie.
Sarge: That's right, dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we received the first part of our shipment from Command.
Grif and Simmons exchange looks again.
Sarge turns towards a hill behind them.
Sarge: Lopez, bring up the vehicle.
A large, armor-plated, jeep-like vehicle comes over the rise with Lopez in the driver seat, who pulls up along side the Reds.
Simmons: Shotgun!
Grif: Shotgun!
... Fuck.
Sarge: May I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle.
Camera closes in on the front of the vehicle and starts to move left, circling it.
Sarge: It has four inch armor plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
Cut to Grif and Simmons.
Simmons: Why Warthog, sir?
Cut to Sarge.
Sarge: Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Cut to Grif.
Grif: I know, but why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig.
YOU ARE READING
MIA: Blood Gulch Chronicles
FanfictionÚlfa Hjörmundardóttir, a runaway Freelancer disguised as a Simulation Trooper. What would happen if she were to be sent onto a D82-EST Darter that just so happened to be heading towards Blood Gulch? Find out in MIA! Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs...
