MIA: Blood Gulch Chronicles

[3] Let's Come To Order

Fade in to the blues, with Tucker holding the weapon of mass destruction

Phi: Kill him and take it from him. I need it.

Wolfsen: Please stop brandishing the sword Tucker, I'm resisting my urges to steal it...

Tucker: Not happening.

Wolfsen: Seriously, I might kill you... (muttering) because Phi won't shut up.

Phi: Sword~

Church: You got this thing where?

Tucker: Right up there.

Caboose: So... You went back in time, and didn't change... anything.

Church: Uh yeah, I was just like a, passive observer.

Caboose: I would have tried to save your life. ...From me!

Church: Yeah, I didn't think of that. Hey, Tucker, I don't think it's a good idea that you're keeping that thing.

Tucker: You're just pissed because you don't have one.

Church: No, you must have me confused with Tex. She's been staring at you non-stop since you found that thing.

Cut to Tex staring at the weapon like it's the last piece of cheesecake

Tex: ...That's not true.

Church: You haven't taken your eyes off it.

Tex: Yes I have.

Church: Then why haven't you looked at me the entire time I've been talkin'?

Tex: I'm looking at you right now. (still looking at the sword)

Church: Nu-hoh you're not!

Tex: I've already seen you. Not too impressed.

Caboose: I would have tried to save Tex, too...

Church: Well I didn't, Caboose. I didn't try to save me, I didn't try to save Tex, and I sure as hell didn't make millions of copies of myself trying to keep the bomb from goin' off.

Caboose: Oh. (whispering) Because that was my next suggestion.

Church: Leave me alone, Caboose. I didn't wanna mess with the timeline.

Caboose: Time... line? (scoffs) Time isn't made out of lines. It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round.

Tex: Man, that thing is really shiny.

Tucker: Yep.

Church: Tucker man, I still think- The computer told me that thing is a very important relic for some ancient culture. I wouldn't go swinging it around like that.

Tucker: Yeah? Well I think it's just a kickass piece of bling. And who're you gonna believe? Me, or some super-smart, stupid talking computer?