[5] Same Old, Same Old

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Fade in to Caboose listening to Church from inside Sheila.

Church: Haha yeah! Hey it worked! I can't believe Caboose came through! How ya like that Wyoming? We even have our tank now. Booyah, mother fu-

Caboose: Sheila, um did you send the tank out there to, help them?

Sheila: Negative.

Caboose: Oh, so the tank went out there, on its own.

Sheila: Affirmative.

Caboose: Sheila, I think they might be in trouble.

Sheila: Affirmative.

Caboose: I should help them!

Sheila: Affirmative.

Caboose: I could go out there-

Sheila: Negative.

Caboose: And help them beat Wyoming-

Sheila: Negative.

Caboose: And save the day-

Sheila: Nope.

Caboose: And everyone will love me!

Sheila: What?

Caboose: Especially Church!

Sheila: My sensors indicate you don't stand a chance.

Caboose: Thanks Sheila! This is a great plan!

Cut to the standoff at Red Base

Wyoming: You know, I really can't thank you enough for leaving your tank completely unattended. It was very kind of you, old chap. Makes your defeat and humiliation so much easier.

Church: Yeah? Well, great, glad we could help. I'm sure if you give us enough time we'll just kill ourselves. Save ya some ammo.

Wyoming: If it makes you feel any better your death is for a very noble cause.

Wolfsen: (pulling out her M6C/SOCOM) I've "died" once already, I don't plan on actually dying this time.

Church: What do you want with Tucker's kid anyway?

Tucker: What? How did we get here? What!?

Wolfsen: We... walked here.

Church: What's wrong with you?

Tucker: With me? What's happening?

Church: Umm... we're being held prisoner...? Where the hell have you been?

Tucker: What? How? I'm so confused!

Church: What do you mean "how"? Are you retarded?

Wolfsen: Tucker, are you... okay?

Tucker: But Tex! She-

Church: No. Tex will take him out.

Wyoming: Oh right, Tex. You mean, her?

As Wyoming says "her" he lunges forward and punches the invisible Tex, knocking her down and out

Wyoming: Poor Tex. Never could figure out when she'd been beaten.

Church: What? How did you know where she was?

Tucker: What do you mean? That's where she was before.

Church: Before what?! Tucker, have you gone insane?

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