MIA: Blood Gulch Chronicles

[1] Head Noob in Charge

Church, Tucker, Wolfsen and Caboose are standing next to the tank outside Blue Base.

Church: Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... I've actually got a girl back home.

Tucker: Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?

Church: No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out... ah, you know how it works.

Wolfsen: Oh please, I've known you for approximately 30 minutes and you haven't exactly given a good first impression. It's better than that nutjob's (points at Caboose), but still.

Church: You say that, but it wouldn't be as bad as your first impression of my girlfriend. She can be feisty.

Wolfsen: Sure, whatever you say... I'm not sure you should back talk your own girl though, we kinda have a sixth sense for these things.

Church: Whatever...

Tucker: Oh, well moving on from that, you gonna marry her when you get back?

Caboose: I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Wolfsen: ...wha-

Church: Hey, rookie...
... Did you call my girlfriend a cow?

Tucker: No, I think he called her a slut!

Wolfsen: Uhmmm... I think he did... Either that or it was directed towards all woman, which if so I'm sure some of the people I know would circumcise him just for saying that.

Tucker: Jesus Christ!

Church: I'll tell you what, noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do.

Caboose: Great.

Church: See, we've got this General.

Tucker: Right, the General guy.

Church: ...who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by.

Caboose: When is he coming by?

Tucker: We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now.

Caboose: You want me to stand at attention for a week?

Church: You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag.

Caboose: What's so important about the flag?

Church: Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?

Caboose: They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?

Church: Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's... Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important.