MIA: Blood Gulch Chronicles

[4] Lost in Triangulation

Fade in to Sarge in the Gulch

Sarge: Alright dirtbags, after the third round of the competition, it's still anyone's contest.

Donut: Yeahah, burn wrench, anyone includes me! Hahah.

Sarge: Donut was leading after the obstacle course, and talent contest.

Donut: Awesome. Whodihoo!

Sarge: But then the mysterious skull pulled ahead during the question and answer session.

Donut: That doesn't seem physically possible.

Alroy: I agree with you there..

Sarge: So the standings are the skull, Donut, Alroy and in fourth the wrench. Which is the current crowd favourite.

Cut to the warthog with pro-wrench propaganda on it

Warthog: (beep beep beep)

Grif: Haha, maybe the skull will be your new sidekick. Hey Sarge, how can I kiss your ass if I don't have any lips?

Sarge: And in last place Grif.

Grif: What? I thought I was ineligible.

Sarge: Ineligible to win, dead man. Luckily there's no chance of that happening since the last round is the evening-wear competition.

Donut: Whohoa, you're in trouble now skull.

Grif: Then can I quit?

Sarge: Course not, only eligible contestants can withdraw from the competition.

Grif: (sigh)

Sarge: I guess you'll just have to settle for sixth place turdbelly.

Grif: Sixthth place? Should I even ask who's in fifth?

Sarge: I'm reserving fifth place for any late entries, who would obviously be better than you. Such as a turd, or a turd farmer.

Cut to Church talking to Gary

Church: Hey Gary, is there any way that you could translate what this big alien is saying to us?

Gary: no

Church: Aw come on man, isn't this one of the aliens that built you?

Gary: yes, but i do not know much about those creatures. i was only programmed with knowledge of the shisnos. i mean you.

Church: Yeah listen man, that word is really startin' to bug me a little bit.

Gary: you did not even know what it meant until i told you.

Church: I know but you just say it so much.

Gary: i only say shisno in context. like when talking to a shisno or about a shisno. i think i see what you mean shisno.