MIA: Blood Gulch Chronicles

[3] It's a Biological Fact

Fade in on the Boys, Tex and Wolfsen outside O'Malley's base near the warthog.

Tex: What took you guys so long to get here?

Simmons: There's six of us, and this is only a three-seater jeep. Half of us had to sit on someone else's lap.

Wolfsen: That doesn't force you to drive slower, you're either a bad driver or have been obeying the road laws despite the fact we, or Tex, told you to get here ASAP.

Donut: It was a great road trip. My favourite part was when Grif tried to change gears, and he accidentally-

Grif: Hugh, please, let's not tell the story. Is there somewhere I can wash my hands?

Wolfsen: There is a body of water... right behind you Grif.

Sarge: What'd you find, Tex?

Tex: Well, O'Malley's holed up in his fortress. He's been fortifying his defenses for a few days now, and he's got some help, one of those religious nuts you guys picked up.

Caboose: Oh, I like them. They were funny.

Tucker: Caboose, they tried to kill you because of a flag.

Caboose: I try not to remember the bad things about people.

Tucker: That's all they tried to do, there were no good things.

Caboose: That's okay. I have a really bad memory-wow look, a beach!

Sarge: Shut up Caboose. What's yer plan, Tex?

As Tex explains her plan, we see a majestic, panoramic view of O'Malley's base.

Tex: Well first we have to breach the outer wall.

Caboose: Oh. I love breaching!

Tex: Then, we have to get past another wall.

Grif: Two walls? Some people are so materialistic.

Wolfsen: Not really, infact historically Castles used to have 2 or 3 walls.

Tex: The second wall has a guard tower, and an enormous razor-sharp spinning blade.

Simmons: What that thing? It's spinning like two miles an hour.

Tex: I didn't say it'd be hard to get past. After that, we have to pass the gun turrets, and break into the building.

Sarge: And then we attack O'Malley.

Wolfsen: (at the same time as Tex) Nope!

Tex: (at the same time as Wolfsen) No. That's when we plant, this.

Caboose: ...We're planting a volleyball.

Tex: It's not a ball, it's a bomb.

Caboose: We're planting a volleybomb?

Tex: I've scouted a location inside the base where we can set it off and take the whole place down. I marked the spot with a big X.