A Very 80's Infatuation - manxman

11. Come Back and Stay

Song: Come Back and Stay by Paul Young

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This is a nightmare. I thought a little space would give Ethan a chance to realise how he felt and do something definitive about it - whether it's good or bad for me. Honestly, he could tell me he wants Josie and that would be acceptable.

But he seems to be running further from the truth. I never see him alone, and he only wants to do the occasional group date, avoiding me the whole time. He hasn't stepped it up with Josie either so I don't think he is like this because he chose her instead.

Since you've been gone

I shut my eyes

And I fantasize

That you're here with me

I miss him. He had become a good friend, something I don't have a lot of, and I miss the friendship. Surely he must as well. I can put my feelings aside for the sake of the friendship, no matter how painful that may be, and I hope in time he can too.

Will you ever return?

I wont be satisfied

'Till you're by my side

I don't care if it is the second time he ran out on me, he has to know it's ok. We have got ourselves into a very atypical situation and it was bound to be hard to understand. He could walk right back into my life, no questions asked if he wanted.

Why don't you come back?

Please hurry, Why don't you come back?

I tried going to him once, days after it had happened. I shouted through the door when I knew he was in and Jessie was out. My voice was raw by the end of it - but there was no luck, he ignored me the whole time and pretended he wasn't in.

I had to leave when some of the neighbours got mad at me and when my voice was barely more than a squeak. I had Jessie wondering what on earth I had been doing to lose my vocal ability for a few days.

Come back and stay for good this time

I don't know how much longer I can cope with things being this way. Something does need to be done before it drives me insane. I am dating his best friend so I am going to be in his life for the time being, if not a long time, so the sooner the better.

When you said goodbye

I was trying to hide

What I felt inside

I should have ran after him that night around mine. I should have ran after him at the club but definately after mine. I didn't want to seem too full-on with him at the time because it could have backfired even more and made him run further - maybe even out of my life for good.

Please hurry...

The more I think about things, the more I realise he doesn't want me. Even if he does want me like that, he doesn't want to act on that. I should face facts and get on with life - he wants a normal life with a woman, not with a man like me.

Will you ever return?

I can't help but wonder what it would take to get him to come to me again. Whatever I have done or am doing now isn't working. Could I just pretend nothing happened and try to act somewhat normal around him again? Possibly build up the friendship we once had and never ever do or say anything again?

Why don't you come back?

Please hurry...