A Very 80's Infatuation - manxman

20. Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime

Song: Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime
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'I'm gay.'

Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you

'Wh- What?'

'I'm gay Jimmy.' I repeat, although he knew exactly what I said the first time round. 'It may have taken me a very long time to come to this conclusion, but now I am certain. Women have never done anything for me and it took meeting you to see that.' Getting that off my chest felt great - like a weight had been lifted.

'I can't...'

'Sssh, I am not asking you to be gay with me.' One could hope, but I didn't want to scare him off just yet. It was a lot to digest. 'I'm just letting you now that you made me realise my true self. And now I know, it really is something. It finally feels like I am home, and life is worth living knowing that I have finally found myself.'

'That's great Ethan. I'm a little surprised but I appreciate you telling me. Who else knows?'

'Nobody, yet. You're my best friend and I thought you should know first.' That was the truth. He was much more of a friend to me than Jessie had been as of late.

I need your loving like the sunshine
And everybody's got to learn sometime

I wanted his approval above anyone else. He was the most important person in my life, that I can now admit, so he needed to know first. 'I hope you can understand what I am doing here.'

'How did you know?' Should I tell him? Was he ready to hear it yet? The fact this was one of his first questions meant that maybe he was a little more aware of his own feelings that he realised, but I couldn't be completely sure.

Everybody's got to learn sometime

'I knew that without a shadow of a doubt, I loved you - a man. No girl has ever given me those feelings.' His face reacted exactly how I expected - with recognition and understanding. 'And try as hard as I might, I could not let those feelings go.

Everybody's got to learn sometime

And I think you understand more than you would like to let on.'

'What?! Don't be silly. I'm over you.'

Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you

'Please Jimmy, I need you to see how I feel. I was afraid of it at first, but accepting it has been my biggest and best decision. It could be yours to. I'm not asking for you to drop everything and be with me, I'm just asking you to look inside yourself and see what I see.

I think that you are gay and that is ok.' Ok maybe less subtle than I would have liked it to come out, but better out than in.

I need your loving like the sunshine
And everybody's got to learn sometime

'I do love you which is why I'm telling you all this and trying to get you to understand.'

'You don't know anything. How can you stand there and tell me how I feel? You don't know! And you promised you wouldn't say anything. I thought we decided to put it all behind us.'

'Be realistic, you can't just ask someone to repress themselves like that. I blindly agreed to you because I was desperate not to lose you, but looking back, that was the wrong thing to do. And admit it, I have changed since then. I am not that guy any more and I think that merits a second evaluation of our feelings.'

Everybody's got to learn sometime

'I can't believe you are doing this Ethan. I thought we were friends. Obviously not!'

Everybody's got to learn sometime