A Very 80's Infatuation - manxman

23. Little Lies

Song: Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac

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If I could turn the page

In time then I'd rearrange just a day or two

Close my, close my, close my eyes

Things aren't right between me and Jimmy. I've always felt a bit of distance between the two of us, like there is something he hasn't been telling me from the start but I am clueless as to what it can be.

I long to hear those three little words from him but they never come - and I said them a long time ago so it is not like we haven't got to that point in our relationship yet. He says that he is a private person and feelings don't come easily to him but this feels more and more like an excuse with every moment we spend together.

But I couldn't find a way

So I'll settle for one day to believe in you

Tell me, tell me, tell me lies

I don't want to give up on us, but he is making it harder to to want to keep going. I don't want to have wasted my time with him, and we have had a lot of good times, but it seems like it is the only thing left to do.

I suspect there is someone else, and maybe there always has been but he insists that this isn't the case.

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

I want to speak to Ethan about it, he should know as they are practically joined at the hip nowadays. It wasn't like that at first, and I thought they hated each other but over time, they became inseperable. Maybe he would know something that I don't.

Oh, no, no you can't disguise

However, I don't think I should be this intrusive and put their friendship at jeapardy. Ethan is my best friend and I can't put him in that position - using him to fix the problems I have in our relationship. I may even be making this all up in my head and speaking to Ethan will only make things worse.

Speaking of Ethan, they havent hung out in a few days now and I am getting concerned. I think they have had a falling out and you can see how much this is effecting Jimmy. He isn't the same person and it is making matters between the two of us a lot worse.

'Jimmy honey, why don't you go see him? You look miserable and I think you should try and fix whatever argument you two have had.'

'I am not speaking to that man again. That's all I have to say on the matter.'

Tell me lies

Tell me sweet little lies

I wish I could just get a snippet of information or spend a moment inside Jimmy's head so I know what he is feeling. I can't help but worry so much more is going on. With the way that we are as a couple, and now problems with Ethan, I feel that there is something big going on with him and I don't know how to handle it all.

No more broken hearts

We're better off apart let's give it a try

Tell me, tell me, tell me lies

Sometimes I feel I should just do the right thing and end it between us already. His heart isn't in this - I know that if I really want to admit it. But if there is a chance I'm wrong, I will be ruining things and could make him feel worse.

If I could turn the page

In time then I'd rearrange just a day or two

Close my, close my, close my eyes

It feels like he hasn't really wanted to be with me this whole time and if I could take back us meeting, I probably would. But I'm in too deep and feel so much towards him that I could end up breaking my own heart. It is selfish to not want to do that?

But I couldn't find a way

So I'll settle for one day to believe in you...