A Very 80's Infatuation - manxman

22. Here Comes The Rain Again

Song: Here Comes The Rain Again by Eurythmics

-------------------- 

I left his place, tears streaming down my face as the reality of the situation hit - he didn't want me and there was nothing else I could ever do to change that. This is what I had feared and not what I thought the outcome would be at all.

I thought if I put myself out there one last time, could prove to him I have changed and won't ever run again, then maybe he would be willing to give me that shot. I was wrong and I really messed things up.

Here comes the rain again 

Falling on my head like a memory

Falling on my head like a new emotion 

He was the one that wanted something to start with, and I had rejected the idea. Now the roles were reversed and it stung so much more. I preferred it when we were both in the denial stages, rather than now where I know exactly what I want, but he doesn't.

I want him, it's as simple as that - but he doesn't want me and that complicates it all over again. I would have given anything for him to turn around and go 'you know what, yes' but wishes don't just come true like that.

I want to walk in the open wind 

I want to talk like lovers do 

I want to dive into your ocean 

Is it raining with you 

In an ideal world, he would have kissed me and told me he loved me and was willing to try and have a relationship. I would have been able to enter his life as a lover and give him everything he deserves - romance, love and a best friend all rolled into one.

Here comes the rain again 

Raining in my head like a tragedy 

The more I think about everything, the more it hits me. Everything I have just said I wish could happen, everything I had hoped for our future, everything I wish we could be - well all of that was never going to happen. Sadness is filling me at an alarming rate.

Tearing me apart like a new emotion 

I've never wanted anything so much as I want this.

I want to breathe in the open wind 

I want to kiss like lovers do 

And his kisses - out of this world. How can I go on and never experience one of those ever again? They are like oxygen.

I want to dive into your ocean 

Is it raining with you 

Does he even realise what he is doing and saying? Part of me can't really believe he would just deny everything like he has done, especially considering his behaviour at the start. But I can't say I haven't deserved it after the way I treated him.