A Very 80's Infatuation - manxman

19. No Easy Way Out

Song: No Easy Way Out by Robert Tepper

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We're not indestructible, 

Baby better get that straight

It is unrealistic of Jimmy to think that we could just go on like this, not admitting our feelings and hiding them from one another. How can anyone repress themselves and think that that is a good idea?

I can't speak for him in terms of whether he is repressing anything anymore, but I know I am and that is enough for me to need to do something about it. Just what I am going to do, I don't know.

I think it's unbelievable 

How you give into the hands of fate

How could he just hope to hide himself and believe that fate will be at work? This is not a fairytale where everything magically sorts itself out over time, with no actions needed to guide it. This is real life, where important decisions need to be made and people need to own up to themselves.

If he doesn't love Jessie already, he never will. They have been together for months now and I know he hasn't told her. Does he believe that if he puts in enough time, love will actually come? Love doesn't work like that, you either feel it or you don't.

Some things are worth fighting for some 

Feelings never die

The longer I spend around him, the more I know that my feelings will stay for good. That I am certain of. I love him and I think I did from the moment I first laid eyes on him, but I couldn't see it and most certainly didn't want to admit it at the time.

I'm not askin' for another chance 

I just wanna know why

I no longer care whether I am going to break our truce - for my own state of mental health, I need to end things once and for all. He has to find out what is going on in my head - we can't be friends if this means that I have to feel like this all the time. It just isn't worth it and it is bad for my health.

Even though the time we spoke, he made himself very clear, I still have unanswered questions only he can answer. I was so grateful of the chance I just blindly agreed to his terms and conditions, without really knowing if that was what I wanted at the time.

It wasn't so much as a discussion as it was a speaking and listening moment. He spoke and I listened, then I blindly agreed.

I like to think things have changed sinced then - I have changed. He has to give me credit for that and re-evaluate things.

There's no easy way out there's no shortcut

There's no easy way out givin' in can't be wrong

Just what I tell him isn't clear yet.

Baby,baby we can she'd this skin 

We can know how we feel inside

Instead of goin' down and endless road 

Not knowin if we're dead or alive

I don't need him to tell me he wants to be with me after all, I just need a final decision - does he want to be with me or should we never see each other again?

Some things are worth fightin for 

Some feelings never die

I'm not askin for another chance 

I just wanna know why

But what do I say and where do I start? I know I need to say something.

There's no easy way out there's no shortcut home

There's no easy way out givin in givin in can't be wrong no

There's no easy way out there's no shortcut home

There's no easy no easy no easy way out

I think I know what I am going to do - I am going to admit to him that I am gay. Because it is quite clear that I am.