Come Back To Me HONEY!

Chapter 53

JENNIE'S POV

Lisa has been calling and texting me since I arrived at my apartment. I don't want to talk to her any more, I don't have the energy to deal with her, and I've already said that we're done. I am in pain, and I couldn't stop asking myself, "What did I do wrong?" and "Why did she do it?"

I hadn't gotten any sleep despite the fact that it was almost dawn. The only thing on my mind right now is what happened earlier. My eyes can't stop sobbing whenever my mind recalls Lisa fucking another woman right in front of my two eyes, and I can still hear their groans, which makes my chest hurt like my heart is splitting apart. I still can't believe this is happening to us, that Lisa has betrayed my trust.

My eyes are sore, but I can't stop sobbing. I'm exhausted, yet I can't stop myself. She is my happiness, but she is also the source of my pain right now. I wasn't expecting this,  I thought we'd be together until the end, but I was wrong. Although I chose her, she chose to break my heart.

Now that we're no longer together, I'm not sure where or how to start again. How would I start and end my day without her beside me. How can I cherish all of the great times we had if all I can think about is the pain she caused me? How can I move forward if the person who gives me the strength to do so is also the one who is keeping me back?

Flashback....

"Honey listen to me please? Let's talk first" Lisa said as she held my hand while I packed all of my stuff in the closet and loaded them into my luggage.

"What else do we need to talk about Lisa?! It's clear that you cheated on me!"

"Honey, I'm so sorry. I was drunk. I didn't know what I'm doing" 

"Fuck you Lisa! You're drunk?! You're not aware that you're fucking another girl?! That's a total bullshit! You moan so loudly that it sounds like you're having fun!" I murmured this while throwing the clothes into my hand.

"I'm telling you the truth. I was drunk and I passed out I didn't know how I ended up at Dahyun's place and I admit that it's my fault. That night I thought it was you."

"Oh yeah?! and when did all this bullshit happened?! You never told me that you will hang out in a bar" 

"It was month ago, during the time that I didn't go home and told you that I stayed at Jisoo's," she said, taking my hand in hers and kneeling in front of me. "Honey, I'm sorry, I could have been more honest, but I was afraid, I didn't want to lose you," she added.

"You've been lying to me for month and want me to believe you now?! Are you fucking serious?! Well that doesn't matter, though, because we're done!" 

"No honey please, I'll do everything, just don't leave me please" she sobbed out as she wrapped her arms around my hips while kneeling.

"Did you have any idea how I'm feeling right now? Lisa, it's killing me inside! You're killing me! I thought we're ok, that you'd understand, and even promised that I will make it up to you for those months I was away because my company was at risk." I shouted it in a raspy voice, and I couldn't hold it in any longer as tears streamed down my face." You could have just asked me for it if you can't handle it anymore, I'll give it to you. I gave you my all Lisa, everything that I can offer, but I guess it's not enough for you"

"Jennie you're more than enough, you're all that I need. It was a mistake" 

"It was a mistake," I murmured, removing her arms from around my waist, "my mistake is trusting you, allowing you into my life, and mistake in loving you with all the love that I could give." I grabbed my luggage and exited the room.

End of flashback...

I was sobbing the entire night that I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep. I was laying on my bed, completely covered by a blanket and hugging a pillow next to me. My lips are dry, my eyes are puffy, my chest hurts, and my brain hurts; everything I'm feeling is intense pain.

I pulled out my phone to check the time, and it's almost lunchtime, but I'm not hungry. I've received numerous missed calls and texts, the most of which are from Lisa, with the rest coming from Irene, Jisoo, and Mino. I got out of bed and shut the drapes to keep the sunlight out of my room. I'm still wearing in the same clothing as yesterday, but who cares? I'm not in the mood to do anything, all I want to do is lie in my bed and sleep to keep my mind from thinking and to lessen the pain I'm experiencing.

How I wish our hearts had a reset button so we could simply hit it to restart everything if things didn't go as planned, or a skip button so we didn't have to go through the painful process of accepting and moving on. This pain is killing me from the inside out, and it's making it difficult for me to function. How am I supposed to overcome this if I don't have the energy or desire to begin with?

I don't know how I'll get through the day without you, Lisa. Why does this foolishness have to happen? Why did fate chose me out of all the people? I started crying again because I wasn't getting any answers to my questions. When I heard my phone ring, I instantly checked the caller ID and saw that it was Irene.

"Hello Jen?!" she yelled

"Unnie"

"Jen what the fuck?! I've been pressing your door bell for 100 times, you made me worried!"

"Sorry didn't heard it"

"Fine. Can you open this fucking door now before I call someone to destroy it"

"Yeah" I said and end the call

I stood up and went to the door to open it. I pull the door open while holding the knob, showing Seulgi and Irene. With their eyes wide open, they scrutinize me from head to toe.

"Did you just got up?" Irene said scanning me

"Yeah"

"You look like shit" Seulgi added

"Well, what can you expect I'm feeling like a shit too" I said and turned my back to walk towards my room

I threw myself back into bed and draped a comforter over my entire body. I recognize Irene's footsteps as she walks towards me.

"Jennie, I know it's difficult, but you have to be strong," she added as she sat next to me comforting me. "It's not easy, but everything will work out in the end" She murmured this as she rubbed my arms against the duvet that was covering me.

I understand she's trying to console me, and I'm grateful she came. My tears begin to fall down my cheeks, landing on my pillow, and I feel her hands caressing my back tenderly.

"Unnie, the pain is killing me. I can't even function because it hurts so much." I said in between my sobs "I keep on asking myself why is this happening? What did I do wrong? How can I start again? But I don't have the answers. I can't find the answer" I sobbed under the cover, clutching my knees, since I didn't want her to see me in this state.

"Cry if you want to, talk to me if you need someone to talk to, rest if it would help you," she said, her chin resting on top of my shoulder "Do whatever it takes to feel better, but don't give up, Jennie. You need to be strong and get through this for yourself" she murmured, hugging me even closer

I couldn't say anything, so I simply cried my heart out like a kid who is in pain and can only weep to relieve the pain. I'm not sure how long I've been crying, but my throat is dry, I can't breathe through my nose properly, my pillow is soaked in tears, and I can already feel my eyes shutting.