Towards the future I see

Chapter 27 Part 3

Thrawn came to my quarters sometime after Kallus had left. He must have noticed that the surveillance was turned off and later turned on.

“He came to see you?” He asked.
I just nodded. I was making tassels when Thrawn came in. It will be a couple of days before we arrive at Lothal from this trip, so I had continued my work at the table of the common room area. Thrawn walked to the table and took a seat next to it.

“And what did he come to say?” He asked and took one of the tassels into his hand and examined it.

“He wanted to know why I’m treated so poorly by Vader and why do I choose to stay,” I said and kept pulling the strings on the tassel.

“And your answer?” Thrawn inquired.

“I told him that I had chosen to stay by my own will and that regardless of how Lord Vader treats me, I’m not going to change my mind,” I said. It wasn’t a lie. Kallus understood my situation and also now understood to keep his distance. He will be looking after me but he does it from the distance.

“I see,” Thrawn said and kept his eyes in the tassel in his hands. “Is this a mourning tassel?”

“It is,” I said as I used small scissors to cut the strings and clean the tassel I was working on.

“For your robe? Aren’t the tassels supposed to be the same color as the robe? Or is there an exception to wear a black one?” Thrawn asked.

“The cloth I wear is supposed to be gifted either from parents or the guardian. Lord Vader gifted me some time ago a black robe and he is my guardian. I simply add the elements myself to it.” I explained.

“Understood. I wish to see you wear it one day when it’s finished.” He said and placed the tassel back on the table with others. He remained in my room for a while watching as I made more tassels and time to time asked questions about my people. I thought that soon he would know as much as I do if not more of my people.

“And the clothing I gave you before?” He asked.

“I burned it,” I answered not taking my eyes from my work. “As it should have been done in the first place.”

“Is that how you treat the history of your people? Surely, some things are better left for safekeeping.” Thrawn said with a tone indicating that he didn’t approve of such a method.

“It is the will of my people. Whatever remains of us will be our handcrafted products upon the worlds we lived in. Everything else that is personal or only to the family, must be either passed on or destroyed. Now, the first-mentioned will not be happening, so I’ll fulfill the latter.” I said finally making eye contact with him.

“And why not? Are you not allowed by Vader, to have a partner or birth children?” Thrawn asked sounding curious.

“He forbid none of that. But I’m not ready nor willing to have either when I’m in this situation.” I said a bit irritated by the comment. “Even then I rather not have my descendants surfer the fate of my people.”

“Understood.” That was all he said.
Good thing I had the hood on. That comment made me not only irritated but also made me sad. A long time ago, I would have loved the idea of having my own family. But that was when my people were living happily among the other occupancy of that world. When both my brother and I had dreams of the future. But now just the thought of having children scared me. If I ever had them it meant that I had to not only hide myself but them too. Maybe I would have to abandon them in order to keep them safe. I would never allow such a thing to happen. If I ever had children I had to be free and far away from the Empire and the rebels. And even hide myself from the future thread that was shown in the visions. I might not even live that long. I pushed out those thoughts and kept working on the tassels. I wouldn’t worry about it once we get to Lothal.