Avengers oneshots (Mostly SamBucky)

You're stuck with me.

(This is a very short one. Imagine Nat and Steve are alive and in the same timeline and dating each other. N- Nat, St-Steve, Sa-Sam, B-Bucky)

N: "Bucky once shot two of his handlers cause they tried to force him to shoot a kid."

St: True, right?

Sa: True.

N: Half true, he shot one handler and choked the other one.

St: Okay, that's really specific!

N: Shouldn't you know!

Sa: I'm playing too!

N: He once chopped his hair off because it was getting in his eyes during a mission.

St: True.

Sa: Nope. He'd never taken a rough knife to that hair.

N: Sam's right! He just tied it up somehow.

St: What? Never??

N: Yeah, he couldn't. HYDRA was very particular about appearances.

St: Why?

N: Cause we're assasins. Our charm and looks are one of our most important assets.

Sa: So all the men had long hair?

N: Oh no. Just him. The director had a weird interest in him. Okay, next one. He has a small tattoo that says 'power' in italics.

St: True

Sa: False. It says 'love'.

N: How do you kn- Nevermind, do you know where it is?

Sa: On his hip.

B: What are you guys upto?

St: We're playing who knows Bucky best. And so far Sam seems to be winning for some reason.

B: Why exactly are you doing that?

N: Cause we were bored. Next one, Bucky once broke his knee, when he jumped from a height.

St: False.

Sa: True. But it wasn't for the height, he slipped.

B: Wait, I broke my knee?

N: Yes, you did.

St: What? Okay, how did you know that Sam?

B: Did I tell you?

Sa: Duh, how else would I know?

N: He also knows about your tattoo...

Sa: Oh there's more than one.

N: No, there aren't.

St: Since when were you into tattoos?

B: Recently. And Sam's right, I do have more.

N: How the hell does Sam know that?

Bucky leans in and pulls Sam into a kiss. As the two pull back grinning, Bucky asks, "Does that answer your question?"

N: Holy shit, you two had sex?

St: You like men?

Sa: Yes to both.

B: Also we're dating.

Sa: No we're not. It was a one time thing.

B: But you asked me this morning!

Sa: Oh did I?

B: I will muder you!

St: I will clean it up.

Sa: Hey! Don't condone that.

St: You break his heart, you get murdered. Trust me, he'd probably kill you much mercifully than I will.

N: Didn't know you were a player, Sam!

B: You know what, I'll just go call Leah. I think she'll like to hear back from me. She's so pr-

Sam cut Bucky off by pulling him into a kiss.

Sa: Don't you dare. You're stuck with me now.

N: Awe, why can't you ever be this sweet, Steve?

St: You want me to act like we aren't dating? Yeah, not happening. I fucked up twice, not doing it a third time.

Sa: Twice?

N: Peggy and who?

B: Just leave him alone.

N: Peggy and who?

St: You won't know them.

Sa: Them? Is there something you want to tell us Steve?

B: Just leave him be. Come on.

N: Why are you getting upset? Wait is this about you?

B: What? Of course not. I don't think so.

Sa: Steve.

St: Nope. I'm not telling you, just know that it's someone from the 1900s

B: You guys wanna go on a double date? Since Sam doesn't want me, I can as-

Sa: Hey, I was kidding okay. Like I said, you're stuck with me!