No Looking Back {Book Two}

32

"Mom! Wake up! It's snowing!" Liam shouted. I woke up and rubbed my eyes before looking out the window to see that it was snowing.

"Can we go play in the snow mommy?!" RJ asked, loudly.

"Yeah but go get dressed and put your coats and hats on." I said, getting out of bed. I got dressed, putting my coat on. We were all wearing boots to run around in the snow. I was wearing the coat that Rick wore when we were first came to Alexandria. All the kids were having fun in the snow, which brought a smile to my face. Someone told me that Daryl and a few other went out to do something but didn't tell me what.

"Mommy look! I made a snow angel!" RJ shouted.

"Yes you did." I said, looking at it and smiling. I practically adopted Lydia as my daughter since her mother is dead. Her mother was Alpha and once she died, I offered to adopt her because she'll need a mother and she grew fond of me and I treated her like a daughter once I started trusting her.

"Make one next to mine mommy." RJ said.

"Okay." I said, laying down on my back on the ground and started making a snow angel. I got up trying not to mess it up and we looked at it.

"It looks great mommy but not better than mine." He said.

"Yours is way better than mine little man." I said. He then hugged me, catching me off guard.

"I love you mommy." He said.

"I love you too RJ. Always have and always will." I said, hugging him back.

"Can we go see the bridge where daddy died?" RJ asked.

"Are you sure you want to?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm sure. I want to talk to him." He said.

"Alright." I said. I walked to Michonne and she smiled seeing me. "Michonne, can you come with me and RJ?" I asked.

"Where?" She asked.

"He wants to see where his father died and also to talk to him." I told her.

"Okay, let's go." She said.

"Come on RJ. Judith and Liam stay here and stay in their sights alright. Me, Michonne and RJ will be right back." I said.

"Where are you going?" Judith asked.

"We're going to the bridge and before you say anything, I don't want to take all three of you at once and risk it." I said.

"Okay mom, we understand." Liam said.

"You two behave and don't leave their sights." I said, walking away. I held RJs hand and we left. After a little while, we got to the bridge. We walked to the edge and RJ started talking.

"Daddy, we miss you. I wish you were there when I was born but I know deep inside that you were there in a way. Mommy's been crying every night, wishing you would come back to her. Mommy needs you. Me, Judith, and Liam needs you. So does Uncle Daryl. Mommy said that she found out she was pregnant with me after you died. You never got to know that you would have another son daddy. I love you daddy. I wish I can see you and hug you. The only way I knew what you looked like was from a picture of you and mommy together. Me, Liam, Judith and Daryl are taking care of mommy but she needs you too daddy. We will forever love you daddy." RJ said, his voice starting to crack. He turned to me and hugged me. "I miss daddy mommy." He said, crying.

"I miss him too RJ." I said, hugging him back. I turned to Michonne. "Michonne, can you take RJ back? I want to be alone for a little bit, don't worry I'll be fine." I said.

"Okay. You have the radio, just call us if you need anything." She said. She then left with RJ and I leaned against the side of the bridge and looked off into the distance. Tears were starting to fall even though I was trying to hold them in.

"Rick, I miss you and I love you. If there was a way to bring you back to me, I would've done it in a second. I wish you could see your kids. Judith is as stubborn as I am and she wants to help everyone. But after what happened that one time, it's hard to trust another group. But she's a sweet girl, I know you'll be proud of her. Proud of Liam and RJ. Proud of me. You made me a strong woman Rick and I'll thank you forever for that." I said, when I heard something on the other side of the bridge.

I pulled my knife out and made my way over to the other side. I know that's a stupid thing to do but it could be a walker and I figured I should kill it. Also to relieve some feelings. Once I was on the other side, I saw a walker and I walked over to it quietly, killing it. I heard another walker but before I was able to kill it, someone else did. I pulled my gun out and aimed. The person who killed the walker came into view and my eyes widened and filled with tears when I saw who it was.