No Looking Back {Book Two}

27

Everyone was visiting me every single day and it made me feel wanted. Daryl even brings Negan here to see me, obviously when Maggie isn't around since she still hates him. But little does she know, Negan's been helping me through things after Rick died.

I know I shouldn't blame her for his death but I can't help but blame her. If she stayed at Hilltop and not come to try to kill Negan, maybe he would still be here with me. I don't show her that blame her because I don't want her to know. She doesn't know that Negan always listens to me when no one else does. Daryl does but he's always out there looking for Rick's body. I want to be out there looking for him too but I'm still healing from the injuries I got.

"Carl. Rick. I hope you see that I'm being strong through this. I really miss you both so much. I wish you two were here with me but I know you are. Might not be here in person but in spirit. You're keeping me safe and alive from up there and I'll see you both when it's my time." I said. "Merle. I hope you're proud of me for going on for this long. I miss you. I wish you didn't have to die when you did because I wanted to get closer to you. I know you wanted to get closer to me but you sacrificed yourself trying to save us. You have two wonderful nephews. I wish they could've met you. You are their uncle and I know you're watching over me from wherever you are. Daryl is taking good care of me, his niece and nephews. I can't remember if you met Judith, maybe you didn't. I hope you know that I love you even if you were an asshole at times but I guess that was just your way of telling me that you love me. I know you would've killed the group if you saw what they did to me." I said, tearing up.

The door then opened but I didn't look to see who it was. I was too busy talking to the ones we lost.

"Glenn, I know you're up there watching over everyone. Especially your wife and son. They miss you. We all do. You were like a brother to me. Whenever I was down, you would try to make me feel better. And even though you hated Merle, you still didn't like seeing me hurting from his death. Even though I shut everyone out after his death, you would keep trying to talk to me. I was never that good at handling death and you knew that. You treated Liam like he was one of your own. I miss you Glenn. I wish you could see Alexandria now. We grew and we got more people. I know you would be proud of us." I said.

"Shane. I know I shouldn't be talking to you for what you were going to do to me at the CDC but before that, you kept me safe when Daryl went hunting and when Merle went to that department store. We may not have gotten along but I know you tried your best to keep me safe. But I can't forgive you for trying to kill Rick. Rick kept us alive all these years and now he's gone. He's been gone for six years. Carl's gone too. They're both in heaven watching over all of us down here." I said, before looking at who came inside which was Aaron. "Hi Aaron." I said, blinking the tears away and smiled through them.

"Hi Maddie. I'm sorry I was listening to what you were saying." He said, walking next to me.

"It's alright Aaron." I assured him.

"How are you feeling after about a week of just laying there?" He asked.

"A bit better. Wish I can walk around a bit because my back is starting to go numb from laying on it." I said. "I can't go on my side because I could mess up my healing ribs." I said.

"You'll be up and moving before you know it." He said.

"I know but I wish it would be very soon. I'm tired of being cooped up in bed. I'm a Dixon damnit. I need to wander." I said, chuckling. "But I know I have to wait until I'm healed enough." I added. "But how is everything out there?" I asked.

"Peaceful so far but we don't know how long that will last." He said.

"We haven't had peace yet. I just wish everyone would just get along." I said.

"We all do but there's nothing we can do about it. We just have to keep trying to survive." He said.