Growing up dominating the household, Diamond Alvaro finds no solution rather than get away to reduce the pressure she's having around her mother, leaving her sister all behind.
If only she was as mighty and smart as everyone paints her to be, she wo...
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"Nakapwesto na ba kayo—Shen, patayin mo muna iyong ilaw! Ip-play ko na ito, kakaltukan ko ang maglalabas ng cell phone ah!" Tiim ang bagang ni Katia bago inilapag ang TV remote sa tabi niya.
It was a Friday Night and the four of us were lying on the white sofa set that we converted into a bed. It's just us in my condo unit, wearing onesies while watching The Intern on the 32-inch LG flatscreen TV sitting atop the black media cabinet. River came out of the kitchen with two large bowls of popcorn occupying her hands.
"Akala ko ba horror movie ang panoorin natin?" Tanong ni River.
Inabot niya kay Katia ang isang bowl bago umikot para pumwesto sa kabilang gilid sa tabi ni Kai Shen na siyang nakadantay kaagad ang binti sa akin. She was hugging me so tight I almost couldn't breathe.
"You're the only one who wants to watch people get murdered on Halloween, babe..." Kai Shen mumbled before rolling her eyes, burying her face further on my neck.
"At least hindi ako nage-enjoy manood ng mga true crime documentaries 'no! Hindi katulad ng iba riyan na parang hindi tinatamaan ng kilabot sa katawan."
Katia immediately held her right hand up before raising her middle finger up dramatically slow, eyes glued on the television. I laughed quietly then let the night be a memory that was good for all of us.
Mabilis na lumipas ang bawat oras at hindi ko na namalayang isang buwan na akong nasa Pinas. Siguro dahil masaya ako? Siguro dahil payapa na ang loob ko? Pero bakit ganoon? Pakiramdam ko ay napagi-iwanan ako.
I was told that healing isn't linear—that there are times that you will miss everything that you let go of including the things that pains you and that is totally fine. But being here in this town just reminds me of him.
Is it OK to miss him?
One second I was fine, I was content but the second later, I have the deepest desire to go visit every place that made me think of him. Just how unfair it is for River to get everything she ever wanted but I had to endure the loneliness of healing every time the skies turned dark? I was fine until I came across the bookstore near the Alveline and heard his magnificent laughter that made me search for him just to realize that he was never there. It was just his ghost, haunting me in broad daylight.
God, I sound insane.
But since when did I start to get jealous over someone else's life? Since when did I crave to touch a person so bad I could see him anywhere? At some nights, I would stare at the ceiling and lie awake, wondering if he ever yearned for my presence the same way I yearned for him as the dark gradually deafen me.
However once the sun rose, everything was suddenly back to normal again. I love that I'm living alone accompanied by my dearest cat and the fact that I have all the time to watch and spoil Koen and Ginnie. I revel my solitude again as if I never loathe it each time the darkness imposes itself.
