Growing up dominating the household, Diamond Alvaro finds no solution rather than get away to reduce the pressure she's having around her mother, leaving her sister all behind.
If only she was as mighty and smart as everyone paints her to be, she wo...
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I landed at Barcelona International Airport with Kai Shen but since there were a lot of people anticipating to see her, I had to part ways with her and just agree to meet her at our shared hotel room. She flew all the way from the Philippines to here for another magazine photoshoot as well as a runway show that will be attended by other huge names in the Fashion Industry from all over the world.
On the other hand, I plan to visit every town in the country to know where I want to settle alone and find peace within myself because I truly believe that I deserve to find happiness in the small things.
I want to stop finding perfection in everything and just accept that life isn't about it at all. That the greatest success happened after a mistake and that the happiest moment in life was experienced after a heartbreak. I want to be freed from everything that restrained me from ever aiming for the skies.
And living in Granada, Spain taught me to do that. I found happiness in myself that I stopped seeking validation from everyone else and began to do what I actually wanted. I went to a sign language school, worked in a bookstore, joined a charity organization, and taught homeless kids how to read and write on the streets every weekend. I even started to attend music lessons again.
Oh! I also adopted a gray Siberian cat I named Paz and he accompanied me everywhere I went. He made me fall in love with life once again. He's chill and sweet, gentle, and caring... I love him so much.
It's really freeing. It felt as if the city was the one who healed me-or perhaps the people inside it and without realizing it, Granada became a part of me. A home that welcomed me with wide arms and a shoulder to cry on.
There was even a time when I felt like I didn't want to go back anymore. I want to stay there where everything is great and no one actually knows who I am because there, I feel safe that no one will bend who I truly am to align me with their sick narratives.
But somewhere in my mind, I know that that city has already served its purpose in my life. That it already helped me find what I seek most in my entire existence--freedom and that I just couldn't run away from home forever.
So with the intent to come back, I left Granada, Spain to continue what business I left in Manila, Philippines.
When the plane landed at NAIA, Paz was sleeping inside his hard material carrier making it easier for me to hail a taxi for us. I know that this is a huge step for him given that he never really left the city with me and he also had a hard time saying goodbye to his dear friend, Tiger, from the next unit. I am friends with her owner, Lailani.
I just hope this decision won't take a toll on his health.
For the first two weeks that I was home, I was living with River and her family. She and Wane were generous enough to let me crash in their guest room while I was trying to find myself a new apartment to settle in. It's a good thing that Koen and his two-year-old little sister, Ginnie, enjoyed Paz's presence so I was able to go outside without him and in no time, I was able to find us a place somewhere inside Quezon City.
That's when I decided to let Emerald know about my arrival. She was quite frenzied about my decision to temporarily live with River rather than her so I told her that I did it because I know that Papa visits them once a week and I still haven't found the courage to tell them that I am finally back.
Especially after what happened between Mama and me.
The first time Emerald and I got together again, she excitedly showed me the backyard garden that her husband meticulously built across from their shared art studio. She also told me that he spent half a year polishing and making sure that the flowers and plants will grow healthily even though he had zero knowledge about it. I was listening to her attentively on the other hand, with Paz sitting on my lap.
We actually had the best time of our life; we're drinking tea while catching up with one another's life in the backyard of their mid-century modern house. I also had the chance to visit our parents with her.
The couple of times that I visited the house, my mother was a bit cold towards me but later on became more soft until she finally apologized about everything. Telling me that my absence helped her reflect on her actions, making her realize that she couldn't possibly know everything and that she was too hard on us.
I forgive her at that same moment because that's all I needed to hear. And I don't want to torture myself by loathing her anymore... No, I've grown too tired for that.
After the reconciliation, I let her know that I started music lessons again so she instantly invited me to play the piano with her because it turns out that her former music teacher also began visiting the house to tutor her again for the past two years that she quoted as her "most freeing" moment.
I was happy for her and she was happy for me. It looks like me choosing myself is the best thing that happened to us as it doesn't only freed me, it also freed everyone in my life.
