innocent | HHJ + SRJ

52

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S H I N  R Y U J I N

i play with the pen i'm holding, twirling it around my fingers. it's friday, seven in the evening. i stared down the empty paper in front of me. well this is not the first paper i used tonight.

i throw a glance at the pile of crumpled papers in the small bin i have beside my study table and let out a loud sigh. i was given a letter, well letters actually since there's three of them, and the right thing to do to answer it is by using a letter as well... right?

i let out another audible sigh and met eye to eye with the llama stuff toy chillin on the side of the table. " oh dear mister llama! please give me guidance! " i stated and stared at it with pleading eyes and a pout.

i literally paused, waiting for an answer even though i know that it's impossible. after a short silence, a sigh made its way out of my lips for the nth time.

i know what i want but i don't know how to say it. i thought writing it would be better, and easier, but damn i was wrong. i was able to start it all so good but end up straying away from the main topic. the main purpose of this letter.

if i even get to finish this letter, how the hell am i going to give this to him? i know tomorrow's their graduation, i already pre ordered six mini bouquets for the seniors, so i was hoping i could deliver this tomorrow as well.

thinking about it made me feel chills run down my spine. i can't! i can't do this! i'm too shy and embarrassed. ugh! and i can already see myself getting mental block the moment i step in front of that person. i don't want to make a fool of myself!

i let out an exhausted groan then pulled myself off of the chair. i bounced on my feet a little and shake my hands.

" alright let's try to act cool, act cool " i told myself then stood properly, staring at nowhere exactly.

" hey " i blurt out, unconciously dragging the word out. i immediately snap at myself and shake my head.

" that's definitely not cool " i scold myself then prepared to do another try.

×××

" honey? "

i let out a groan, hearing the familiar sound of my mother's voice. i rolled over to my stomach, facing my back to where i can hear her.

" hon- oh goodness! " she stated then i heard her footsteps getting closer and closer.

" ryujin! it's already ten in the morning! didn't you tell me you'll leave an hour early for the graduation? well now you're already an hour late! "

hearing this half asleep, i raised my head lazily and squint my eyes at the figure of my mother rummaging through my closet. she pulled out the outfit i chose last night for the graduation. we met eye to eye. she widen her eyes at me, surprised and stressed at the fact that i'm still not moving.

" get moving missy! " she raised her voice making me jolt up, all the words she told me earlier just sinking in my head.

i turn to the clock hanging on my wall. oh no, i'm so late!

i sprint out of my room, to the bathroom, and start to clean myself up quickly. i was having a hard time while pampering myself, thankfully my mother was there to assist me. she told me to calm down and slow down. i mean i'm already late and there's nothing i can do about that anymore but to go there fashionably.