innocent | HHJ + SRJ

43

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S H I N  R Y U J I N

" honey, you have a visitor " i heard mom's voice after she opened my room's door.

i sniffed and lazily peeked from my blanket, meeting my mother's concerned eyes. " who? " i asked her. today is a school day and it's just time for lunch so who would visit me? all of my friends are at school, obviously.

" hyunjin " she said carefully. i paused for a moment, thinking about why the hell he's here. i clearly remember what happened yesterday and for sure if you're a normal person you'll understand that i don't want to see him ever again. i guess he ain't normal then.

i rolled to my other side, my back facing my mom, then snuggle closer to my pillows and warm blanket. " i don't want to see him " i mumbled, but enough for her to hear.

" but i already let him in, honey, he's in the living room " she said. i clicked my tongue and closed my eyes shut.

" just tell him i don't want to see him ever again " i said sternly. i felt a little bit guilty to talk like that to my mother but i'm just too mad, i just don't want to see him.

i heard her let out a sigh. " alright " she replied. i waited for her to leave but i didn't hear my door closing. " but honey, how can you two fix your problem if you aren't talking to one another? conversation is always the key " she added. i let out a sigh and then turned to face her again.

" we don't have anything to fix, ok? so please just tell him to leave " i told her, just realizing how furrowed my eyebrows are. i let out a sigh and calmed myself down. " thank you " i added.

she nod her head and gave me a loving smile before leaving my room. i covered myself with my blanket and closed my eyes, forcing myself to just go to sleep again. i grabbed my pillow and hug it tight.

after what happened yesterday, out of the blue i got a fever. i wouldn't notice it if it wasn't for jeongin. when i finished crying, we went straight to our classroom. jeongin would check on me time to time and that's when he noticed how red my face was. we both don't know why i had a fever but when i came at the infirmary ms. jeon was nice enough to send me home.

since my fever still hasn't go down, mom told me not to attend school today. i'm really good with that, i don't want to go too anyway. i just want to stay in bed for the rest of the week, or the month.

what happened yesterday caused me pain, too much pain. seriously, what did i do wrong in my past life to deserve all this shit? i know i am not the nicest person today but i am not the worst person too. what exactly did i do to gain all of this shit? i literally fell in love with the wrong person, thinking he's such an innocent angel but in the end he's been playing with my feelings.

why was he even there that day? if he didn't hear me say that before, would all of this still happen? damn! of course it would! no matter what, he'll reject me. i already know this, but why am i still hoping he might feel the same feelings for me? obviously, i'm an idiot.

how did i even end up liking someone like him? he's obviously not my type. i mean yeah, i kinda like those people who don't like me back but he's definitely not my type. my type is someone who has this dark aura. someone who's mysterious yet cool at the same time. someone who would look badass but actually has a soft heart. obviously not him.

he's trash. he's fake. he's definitely using that angelic innocent face of him to trick people, i'm a victim of that. a dumb idiot victim. ugh! seriously? i can't believe i'm moping around like some dramatic teen! this is hopeless. i need to talk to someone, i want to but who?