CAUTION TRIGGER WARNING AND EXTREMELY SENSETIVE TOPIC!!!!
"Come on (y/n) just take a breath come on we will all go to jail if we have to call the ambulance"
Compressions on my chest but I didn't give in. The heroin had hit my veins causing me bliss. I felt my body go weak and I stopped breathing. This was my goal the sweet release of death the sweet release of pain from the awful world. The voices got farther and farther away until I couldn't hear them anymore. I opened my eyes and saw a hand reaching out for me. I subconsciously took a hold of the hand and got pulled towards the floating orb.
"(Y/N) wake up you made it" I groan holding my head and sitting up.
"Made it where?" I rubbed my eyes then opened them to 5 boys gathered around me. I got startled and held the softest blanket I have ever held near my body.
"You made it home" The super tallboy with dimples smiled at me. He had a very comforting familiar feeling making me calm down.
"Home? I don't have a home and who are all of you? Where am I?" The boy with red in his hair shook his head.
"Yep, she is for sure one of us. I am Yeonjun" He introduced himself with a smirk.
"I am Soobin I pulled you through and that is Taehyun with the cats, Beomgyu with the bird on his shoulder, and Kai is the baby in an adult body." I still couldn't process what was going on and they could sense that very well.
"Look I know you need time to process but we have been waiting for you." Yeonjun handed me a glass of water. I took a huge gulp feeling like I hadn't had water in Years it was heavenly.
"Why are you waiting for me?" I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. The boys whispered back and forth from each other before Soobin took a deep breath, taking one for the team.
"We have been watching over you. You are the missing person in our group. We hoped it wasn't true that you would turn your life around but the numbers on our wristwatch kept going on an decline. We did all that we could do but... Let's just say we all have the same exact back story and the same exact cause of death. That is why you are with us." Kai took my hand in his and held it close to where his heart would be.
"Wait what? You said Kai is a baby so how old were you when you all died?" I had panic set in and they all gave me sad smiles.
"I was 22. You are older than all of us and I am the oldest I died 8 months ago" Yeonjun pat Kai's back.
"I was 21 a year younger than Yeonjun and I died 2 months after him in the same place as everyone here." Soobin sat next to me seeing the tears roll down my face.
"I was 20 and Taehyun was 19. We came home the same day holding hands 2 months after Soobin." Beomgyu took Taehyuns hand in his and hugged him.
"I was 18... It was an accident. I wanted more to relieve the pain and overdosed... That was 2 months ago to the second today." I sobbed harder feeling a connection with them. I had never gone to the abandoned warehouse where all of this took place before today. It wasn't my usual spot.
"No you all are babies and died super young wait... I am only 22 and died at 22..." They all nodded silently. I had just met them but I needed a Hug so I turned to Kai and hugged him tightly.
"Well now that all of this is out of the way do you want to see your new home?" Soobin extended his hand towards me the same way he did pulling me through." I was hesitant but his warm smile made me feel better. I smiled and took his hand. Helping me up we walked out of the Hut when I was hit by an astonishing view.
"This is home for all the misunderstood young adults ages 25-18. The freaks, mentally ill, orphaned troubled ones, and whatever other titles you have heard when times got tough." I smiled seeing everyone pain-free and happy. This is just a place I always dreamed of when I was high but it's actually real.
I turned to my side to see Soobin still holding my hand. Something felt deeper with him than with the others. Maybe because he pulled me in but something told me that's not all it was. His dimples and smile were way too familiar but his name was a well. I tried thinking back but my brain was fried from all the drugs over the past few years.
"Soobin do I know you from anywhere?" He turned to face me and pulled me into a back hug.
"We got married under the willow tree when we were kids at the orphanage with Mrs. Joe." I smiled knowing those dimples and bunny smile looked way too familiar but then my smile faded.
"Soobin..." I whisper my voice cracking.
"Hey, it's okay. You were always so emotional. I guess things never change." He chuckled but noticed me crying again. The other boys joined into the group hug. We sat and watched the amazing view. Bright green meadows with beautiful flowers. Blue clear sky with puffy white clouds. Laughter hitting ears and music being played from a guitar. Trees spread out with others like me sitting under them happy... Happy!
"It's okay (Y/N) you are home now."
No matter how alone you feel, your life is precious, and if you need help reach out. Mental health needs to be normalized and not a taboo topic. I spent my whole life hidden from everyone and everything because being mentally ill is seen as a bad thing. IT IS NOT!!! I will always be a safe space for everyone like me. I give you all hugs and I love you all so MUCH!!!!
800-273-8255
Above is the national mental health Hotline. They are open 24/7 and speak multiple different languages.
