The One That Got Away (Synyster Gates Series: Book 1)

Look No Further

Jackie's POV 

I wanted to make things right with Brian. I wanted us to stay friends or something close to friends. I'm engaged and I needed to be mature about things. I had texted him various times, but I never got a reply. 

As days passed, I felt empty. I mean sure I had Zacky, my parents, and my friends there with me, but Brian was the missing piece. 

To be honest, I'm not looking forward to being a house wife. My reasons to why I said yes were clear. My parents were right in a sense. I grew up in a rather financially comfortable household and as time would eventually show, I'd want the same for my kids. Jesse could give that to me... Also when you're standing in front of hundreds of people, you kind of feel pressured to say yes.

But it's most definitely not because I love him. I don't....At least, not enough to say I'm ecstatic about marrying him. I don't want to marry Jesse. I want to marry Brian. But after this, I'm sure Brian hates my guts. 

"... High wind advisory is in effect for the west coast along with some showers..." 

"...Heavy storms along the coast have been reported. Atleast an inch of rain in the last four hours..." 

"...Snow was reported in Fontana. That's a first. John is live in Fontana. John, how's it going over there?" 

I didn't want to hear anything about snow because it reminded me of New York and that's where Jesse is. That's the last thing I want to think about right now... I turned off the TV and picked up the mess of Oreo cookies on the coffee table. I'd been eating like crazy for the past couple of days.

I began to walk to the kitchen when the front door slammed shut. Brian appeared, soaked with water. It was dripping down his face and off his sleeves. 

"Oh my God, Brian." I said dropping the trash and running to him.I was shocked, but I didn't let that stop be from feeling his warm touch. His arms took a hold of my waist. I didn't want to let him go. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my arms still around his neck. 

"Please don't marry him." He said into the crook of my neck, "Please, I love you. You mean everything to me. Jackie, please. I'll beg you." 

I pulled away from the hug slowly, "Brian... I- What are you talking about?" 

"I need to give you this." He pressed his lips to mine, brushing his tongue against my bottom lip. I granted him access. I was so caught up in it, I wasn't aware of what I was doing. When I finally was, I pulled away and slapped him. 

I gasped in realization, "I'm so sorry." He held his cheek, not bothering to look at me, "Brian. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you." 

"So this is it huh?" He asked after a moment of silence, "You're marrying him? What was I to you? A distraction?"

"No, Brian. You don't understand-" 

He interrupted me, "The hell I do! I was nothing more to you. So now you can't be getting mad at me for replacing you with Michelle." He ran his hands through his wet hair, "God damn it. You won't be happy! You're so, so-" 

"So what Brian, huh? So what!" I said throwing my arms up. I was pissed, "Huh!!?" 

"You're so stupid!"

I had it. "Get out of my house. Now. Get out!" I said pushing him towards the door, "And away from me for good!" 

"You see how stupid you are?!" He shouted as he touched the cement of the walkway, "I'm over here telling you how much I love you. I'm pouring my heart out to you. I fucking love you Jackie! I'm the one who you should be marrying. Not Jesse!" 

"Why are you being like this right now? I don't need this," I said stepping into the rain, "You can't even leave Michelle because you're scared of being alone. You can even admit that. You're making me regret ever falling in love with you because of how stupid you're acting." 

He stood quiet. I knew I hurt him worse with the words than I did with my decision to say yes to Jesse. 

"That's how you feel?" He asked. 

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" 

"Because I love you Jackie. You don't deserve an ass like him. You're worth gold. I've been willing to treat you like it. But you've proven to me that I'm worth shit to you. And honestly, I'm fine with that. It's your decision not mine. But after this conversation today, I promise," He said walking away, "You won't ever need to see me again." His voice cracked, "I love you, but the feeling musn't be mutual. And I'm sorry. I hope you have a nice life with Jesse. Congrats on the engagement..." 

I watched as he walked away, to his car. Tears fell from my eyes, but camoflauged with the rain that was streaming down my face. I quickly walked back into the house soaking wet. I closed the door as I pressed my back to it. My knees got weak causing me to fall down to the floor. 

I can't believe I let him go like that. He's right, I won't be happy. Why did I even say yes? If I'm not in love, I shouldn't be marrying Jesse... 

Gathering all my strength, I picked myself up and walked my ass up to my bedroom to change into dry clothes. 

The sound of the front door slamming shut startled me. I walked back down the steps to see Brian, panting.

"I'm not letting you marry him. I love you too much to let you do this." He walked up to the step below me, "Give me a chance to show you how much I love you. Please?" He rested his head on my chest. 

I gently wrapped my arms around his neck and played with his hair. I lifted his chin and pressed my lips to his. It was a soft, slow kiss. We were savoring every second of it. Our cheeks touched, "I love you Brian, but it's just--" 

He let out a sigh, "Just stop. I love you too Jacqueline," He looked into my eyes. "Do what you will, just promise me that the day you realize you're not happy with him, that you end it and find me. Please? I'll be waiting." 

"You said that last time." 

Brian smirked, "I didn't love you as much as I do now...Promise me." 

"I promise."