Crazy For You |Friends Fanfiction

Ch-13

<S1 E11>

-Nicolina's P.O.V-

  At Monica and Rachel's.Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.

Chandler:Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?.

Monica:He doesn't have anyone.

Phoebe:Yeah we-we feel kinda responsible.

Joey:I can't believe you said woowoo.I don't even say woowoo.

Rachel:Oh she's coming up!.She's coming up!."Turns on TV".

(Jay Leno:Folks when we come back we'll be talking about her new book Euphoria Unbound the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing.You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.)

   Everyone has settled down to watch except Chandler.

Chandler:Y'know we don't have to watch this.Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO and Cinemax.

Rachel:No way forget it.

Joey:C'mon she's your mom.

Chandler:Exactly.Weekend At Bernie's. Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20,30 times.No?.

Rachel:Chandler I gotta tell you I love your mom's books!.I love her books!.I cannot get on a plane without one!.I mean this is so cool.

Chandler:Yeah well you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of Mistress Bitch.

Ross:C'mon Chandler I love your mom.I think she's a blast.

Chandler:You can say that because she's not your mom.

Ross:Oh please...

Rachel opens the door to Paolo.

Paolo:Bona sera.

Rachel:Oh hi sweetie."Kisses him".

Ross:When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?.

Monica:Last night.

Ross:Ah so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?...Just a dream I had but phew.

Phoebe:Hey,hey,hey!.She's on!.

Paolo:Ah!.Nora Bing!.

(Jay Leno:Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London?.What is that all about?.)

Nico:Your mom was arrested?.

Chandler:Sh busy beaming with pride.

(Nora:This is kind of embarrassing but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man.)

Chandler:Now why would she say that's embarrassing?.

All:Sh.

(Nora:I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.)

Chandler:"Yells".Thats to much information!.

(Jay Leno:Alright so now you're doing this whole book tour thing how is that going?.

Nora:Oh fine.I'm leaving for New York tomorrow which I hate-but I get to see my son who I love.)

All:Awe!.

Chandler:This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.

(Jay Leno:Y'know don't take this wrong I-I just don't see you a-as a mom somehow...I don't mean that,I don't mean that bad.

Nora:Oh no I am a fabulous mom!.I bought my son his first condoms.)

We all turn to look at Chandler.

Chandler:And then he burst into flames.

*Time Lapse*

   Me,Monica,Phoebe,Joey,Chandler and Mrs.Bing are at a Mexican Restaurant.

Nora:I am famished.What do I want?."Looks at Chandler's menu".

Chandler:Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken.

Nora:Oh you watched the show.What'd you think?.

Chandler:Well I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.

Ross:"Enters".What is this dive?.Only you could've picked this place.

Nora:Oh c'mon shut up it's fun.Gimme a hug.

They both sit down.

Nora:Well I think we're ready for some tequila.

Chandler:I know I am.

Nora:Who's doing shots?.

Monica:Yeah.

Phoebe:I'm in.

Nico:Me too.

Nora:There y'go.Ross?.

Ross:Uh I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy.

Rachel and Paolo enter both somewhat flustered.

Rachel:Hi!.Sorry-sorry we're late we uh kinda just y'know lost track of time.

Ross:But a man can change."Downs a shot".

*Time Lapse*

   Ross is now clearly drunk.He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.

Ross:Anyone want me to appraise anything?.

Rachel feeds something to Paolo.He eats it and licks her hand.

Rachel:Mrs.Bing I have to tell you I've read everything you've ever written.No I mean it.I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight all I wanted to do was become a writer.

Nora:Oh please honey listen if I can do it anybody can.You just start with half a dozen European cities throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia and bam!.You have got yourself a book.

Chandler:My mother ladies and gentlemen.

Nico:"Chuckles".

   Later that night Chandler helps me to my bedroom after getting drunk.

Chandler:Maybe ease up on the drinks next time.

Nico:Oh c'mon I was having fun!."Giggles". Nora Bing is really amazing she helped me view life differently.I'm gonna go out into the world and find me a partner!.

Chandler:Yeah well you can do that tommorow.

  Chandler helps me to my bed and takes off my shoes.

Nico:Chandler?.

Chandler:Yeah?.

Nico:Every time I go out with someone I feel like I'm cheating.

Chandler:Johnny would want you to be happy.

Nico:I know."Tears up".But it hurts.

Chandler:It'll get easier yknow that."Smiles".Get some sleep Nicolina.

<S1 E12>

   I am in my music room playing the piano for my 5th grade class.

Class:"Sings".When Mr.South Wind sighs in the pines,Old Mr.Winter whimpers and whines.Down in the meadow under the snow,April is teaching green things to grow.

Boys:"Sings".When Mr.West Wind howls in a glade,Old Mr.Summer nods in the shade.Down in the meadow,deep in the brook,Catfish are waiting for the hook.

Girls:"Sings".Old Lady Blackbird flirts with the scarecrow,Scarecrow is waving at the moon.Old Mr.Moon makes hearts everywhere go bump,bump,With the magic of June.

Boys:"Sings".When Mr.East Wind shouts over head,Then all the leaves turn yellow and red.Down in the meadow corn stocks are high.Pumpkins are ripe and ready for pie.

Girls:"Sings".Old Lady Blackbird flirts with the scarecrow,Scarecrow's waving at the Moon.Old Mr.Moon makes hearts everywhere go bump-bump with the magic of June.

Class:"Sings".When Mr.North Wind rolls on the breeze,Old father Christmas trims over trees.Down in the meadow snow shoftly gleams.Earth goes to sleep and smiles in her dreams.

Nico:Great job kids!.