California in an argument: Ok, but how do you know thats their pronouns?!
Alaska on heelys slow gliding through the room: If you call everyone Comrade you don't have to worry about pronouns.
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*After Civil War*
Oklahoma talking to Alabama: I may have lost the war but I won you. *Cups face*
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Maryland trying to lighten mood: Ok and then-... Am I annoying you?
PA and MA sitting with usual expressions: NO!-
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D.C./Gov. Reading: Roses are red, violets are blue, I have herpes and so do you... *looks to side*
Florida making the awkward eye contact: Happy Valentine's Day!
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California on a rant: Why can't girls wear spaghetti straps?!
NY letting his Italian side slip out: Because it reminds boys of pasta and they will stop at nothing to get pasta
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*Christmas time*
D.C./Gov.: Ok we're going to sing a Christmas song nicely now ok?
4/5 of the state's: Ok-
North states: DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY, GOD DAMN YOU ARE SLOW, JESUS, HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH, OH JINGLE BELLS, BURN IN HELL, YOU'RE THE BANE OF MY DAY, I'LL SLASH YOUR TIRES, SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE, AND LAUGH AS I RUN AWAY! *In perfect key notes* Ok we're done now. Thanks U.S. you've been horrible fuck off! *flips everyone off*
Utah: *Fainted halfway through*
AK and HI: *Dying laughing*
FL and LA: *Sad they didn't think of it*
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Massachusetts feeling the U.S. flag: Ah yes, soft; like Brittish tears
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Florida: *Comes inside covered in exaust fumes after prank backfired*
NY not looking up from drinking wine with a book at the table: Hmm, must be hard being that stupid. *Sip*
FL: *Florida man laugh* My dad told me that before
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Florida running full speed into the room: I'm thinking about making a play of my life *points to Mass* you're gonna be my dad
Mass: I don't wanna be your dad
FL: Great you already know the lines-
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Penn: *Sleeping*
Mary: *sees and gently puts a blanket on him kisses forehead and goes to bed*
Penn: *wakes up* Dummy, I was only pretending to sleep to see if you'd be nice to me..' and you was-
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Statehouse Incorrect Quotes and Oneshots
FanfictionBased off of Ben Brainard's Statehouse/Welcome to the Table series. Requests are open.