AK: Veganism is under the rule that animals do not consent for themselves or their products to be eaten, so if they could then it would be perfectly fine under vegan rules. There for cannibalism is vegan.
CA: Hey so I made dinner-
Everyone else in the room -Ak: AHHHHHHH-
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CA: Argentine Link Ducks have 17 inches of peen.
NY: *looks at screen* Don.t you sick fucks even think about it.
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NY: Cali is a known sleep talker, so often Cali will go to bed before me, I'll go to bed like half an hour later and he'll be asleep when i get in there but the he'll slightly wake up and then as I'm kind of getting ready for bed or scrolling through my phone, he's not 100% asleep I reckon he's 90% asleep when he says all that stuff. I come into bed and i roll over *looks at CA* you don't move at all and then I just hear "Huh Pussy".
CA: *Laughing*
NY: And I go, "What?" and then you go "I said I love you!"
CA: *Dies laughing*
NY: You called me a Pussy I said, "What?" And then you go "I SAID I LOVE YOU!" It wasn't like you going "Ahh Pussy" it was like "Pussy." when I walked in like it was derogotory, like it was a slur. But i couldn't argue with it because you we're asleep so I just went to bed sad that night.
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NJ: A. B. C. D. E. F. Gun?
NY: *Pulls out gun* *Bang*
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LA: Ok, what are you in here for?
AK: Well my name's Alaska and I'm in here for stealing hamburber...
LA: How long are you in here for?
AK: 37 years to life... I also blew up a school bus, but thats nit as notable as the hamburber...
LA: Yeah, but what type of kids we're on the bus? Were they normal kids or were they special kids?
AK: They were Fortnite kids.
FL: So why are you in here?
AK: Thats what I said!
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*AK and FL arguing after 'AK joins the table'*
AK: Why is there a birthday cake flavor if birthday cake can be any flavor?
FL: I don't know... But I do know that onion rings are just vegetable donuts!
AK: Well your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed!
FL: Lobsters are mermaids to scorpions!
AK: Cookie dough is the sushi of desserts!
FL: If tomato is a fruit, then ketchup is a jelly!
D.C./Gov.: You both win please stop!
AK and FL: For now...
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RI: As a little person I don't do great in crowds, as I get older I realize that women's skirts; are getting shorter. I was walking the other day and looked up to see a woman's lips moving but nobody talking.
YOU ARE READING
Statehouse Incorrect Quotes and Oneshots
FanfictionBased off of Ben Brainard's Statehouse/Welcome to the Table series. Requests are open.
