I was in my room just having his words run through my head while trying not to cry "Are you saying you don't need me here?" "Maybe not for this one." "So you do need me here?!" "NO!" It hurt to think that, then to go back and think about how the others described me Waste of space Annoying Obnoxious Swamp boy Dumbass Retard That wasn't even close to all of them. Am I good enough? Why am I even asking that, I know that I'm not. That was it, my breaking point. I burst out into a hyperventilating mess of tears while I try to be as quiet as possible, as to not attract attention to anybody else and have them come in and see me As if they would even care about me. I look around in a panicked manner and see that I woke Louis' cat up, it.s a black cat with heterochromia (different colored eyes) one a mix of bright green and yellow then the other a mix of deep blue and almost a purpley color it hops up onto the cat tower on the lower one and meows at me and moves around like it.s gonna jump down but it doesn't. I'm still very much crying then I see a disposable razor on the dresser break it open I get up as well as I could being such a mess now shaking I grab the razor and twist the top trying to snap the small part that closes the blades from the rest and drop it while crying more I hold onto the dresser for support as I can barely stand, but I hear the cat meow again and begin it's previous movements so I walk over to it carefully it rubs against me so I let it and it doesn't stop so I just kept petting it until I decide to just pick it up and hold it in my arms while slowly petting it on my bed. I'm calm now I wipe my tears away then go back to petting it until I'm fully calm then it goes back to sleep while purring. I look around and see that the razors still out so I just throw it away as to avoid it, then I go back to my bed. (This (⬆) is a true story from about 2 months ago well minus the Florida stuff)
After a while I start feeling something kind of familier I start getting all bubbly and giggly then I just start babbling about random things. I see a bunch of stuffed animals in a mesh like basket in the corner and let out a squeal while having happy handy and bouncing on my feet then I quickly go over and begin playing with them. Then I find a big (adult sized) binki/pacifier/dummy it was blue and white with a rainbow on the front it makes me happy as I put it in my mouth then lay down on the floor with the toys and start playing with them being all giggly and such.
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Louisiana's P.O.V.
I just get home from being in my state for a week. I wonder how Sha's doing? Guess I'll find out in a minute because I'm gonna grab something small to eat from the kitchen then head up to put my stuff away and see him, as we do share a room. I decide on just a simple muffin I grab it out the container and heard upstairs. Nobody's out here as usual, they're all either hanging out somewhere else, in a meeting, or trying to isolate themselves every now and then it's something else but thats a bit rare here once you learn their patterns. I finish off the muffin and put the wrapper in my pocket temporarily as I walk up to the bedroom door and just as I'm about to turn the handle to go in I hear something, I'm taken back at first then I realize what it is and I smile. I go in and quietly put my stuff down while looking at him then checking if I shut the door then I sneak over to him and stand over him (FL laying on stomach not paying attention, LA standing with feet on either side of him) then I crouch down and lightly dig my hands into the sides of his stomach tickling him. He's squealing and laughing while rolling around, then he grabs my wrists trying to pull them away from him so I stop and pick him up like a baby then kiss his cheek and he squeals and squirms again before hugging me. Then he looks back at the toys and pacifier that was dropped and points to them. "What? You want that?" I ask in a voice that you would for a baby or pet and he smiles and gets all bouncy before giggling and nodding his head. "Ok, bubby." I tell him as I put him down, pick up the pacifier and hold it to his mouth which he happily opens for it then he rolls around and does kind of like an army crawl to get closer to the toys and begins playing with them and making happy noises.
It's good to see him happy, but to know why he acts like this is heartbreaking. All that the sick bastard did to him, made him go through. The fact that people are still hurting him and that he only acts out to have the childhood he wanted, no the childhood he deserved but got ripped away from him. Nobody deserves that. I look up as to not cry then I look at him, how happy he is and I go sit next to him and pick up a toy and with a smile I ask him "What are we gonna play?"
Heres a picture of my little life-saver, I have another being my girlfriend, as well as my mom and nana, but I don't think they'd like their pictures in here.
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