Ateez Roommates - Seongjoong

First Date

As they walked, they continued holding hands.

Seonghwa hadn't really gone for a walk like this since he had his car and he was enjoying it. Especially since he had Hongjoong beside him.

Hongjoong began swinging their hands as they walked, seeming a bit distracted.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Seonghwa asked and Hongjoong looked up.

"Just—what you said last night. About your mom."

Seonghwa felt his heart tighten and looked away.

"I don't want to bring up any hard feelings, but I think maybe...you'd want to tell me about her? What was she like?"

Seonghwa took a deep breath.

"She was always cheerful, always smiling. She walked around the house singing to herself all the time, and even played a few songs on the grand piano for us. Well—for my brother and I. My father never wanted to listen."

"She sounds wonderful."

"She was. Until they started fighting. She wasn't cheerful anymore but tried to fake a smile for my brother and I. I could tell it was forced. She wasn't happy with him and she needed to get away."

"Do you ever resent her for leaving?"

Seonghwa watched a bird fly between trees ahead of him.

"Yes. She left us alone with him. But I still can't seem to hate her. She did what she needed to do to be happy."

Hongjoong nodded.

"You know—I chose this college because it was my dad's alma mater but she actually went here too. This is where they met," Seonghwa smiled.

Hongjoong looked at him and smiled too.

"So even though I'm here for him, my heart is here for her."

Hongjoong gave Seonghwa's hand a tight squeeze and he leaned his head on his shoulder.

They finally arrived at the restaurant and sat at a booth by the window.

After ordering, Seonghwa decided it was time to try get a little information out of Hongjoong.

"So, what is your plan once you're out of college?"

Hongjoong looked up, confused.

"Sorry—I'm just not used to you taking my dreams seriously," sighed Hongjoong and Seonghwa flinched at his words.

"No—I don't mean—sorry that came out wrong—"

"No, it's okay. I've said some pretty bad things," Seonghwa remarked, looking down at his hands.

Hongjoong reached under the table and grabbed them, looking Seonghwa in the eye.

"And it's okay."

Seonghwa smiled shyly and Hongjoong smiled back before letting go.

"I'm hoping to audition at a company to ground myself but I know they tend to take younger students. I've been preparing some of my own songs to perform for them but it's just so intimidating. And the auditions are so—expensive. I want to make sure I'm really ready before jumping into it," Hongjoong sighed.

"I think you underestimate yourself," Seonghwa scoffed.

Hongjoong looked at him, startled.

"Are you serious?? You're amazing. You could write a song in an hour and perform it for them and it'd probably be the best one they've ever heard!" Seonghwa raved.

Hongjoong laughed and shook his head.

"Yeah right. It's a very competitive field. I need to make sure I do my best or there's no way I'll get anywhere," Hongjoong said sheepishly.

"What company would you apply to?"

Hongjoong seemed a tiny bit suspicious and paused his answers.

"Why are you showing so much interest in this all of a sudden?"

Seonghwa panicked a bit but smoothly recovered.

"Because—I really haven't been supportive in the past and I regret it. I want to know about you. Is that so bad?" he said, realizing he wasn't entirely lying. He genuinely did want to know about Hongjoong's career.

"Sorry—I'm just so used to ignoring that part of me when we're together. Honestly, the company I'm most interested in is probably—"

Hongjoong hesitated and Seonghwa waited patiently.

"I guess—well—SM. Or JYP."

Seonghwa felt his heart sink. It wouldn't be much of a gesture if it wasn't even the company he wanted. He didn't really have ties to the other two. Maybe he could ask Hongjoong's friends about it.

He looked back at Hongjoong and noticed he seemed a bit shy. Seonghwa decided to change the conversation so he didn't have to talk about himself for a while.

They spent the rest of the night just talking, as Seonghwa felt he'd gotten as much information as he could without gaining too much suspicion.

Hongjoong definitely regretted his choice to walk now that it was dark out but Seonghwa was honestly more excited to walk at night than during the day. Coming from a big city, he didn't get much of a chance to enjoy the stars and he took Hongjoong to a park to look up at them together.

They laid on the grass, side by side, watching the twinkling lights above them.

"You know, it's kind of ironic since we don't ever get to see them in the city, but my mom named me after the stars," smiled Seonghwa and Hongjoong turned to look at him.

"'To be a star,' right? That's what your name means?"

"Yeah," Seonghwa smiled.

They laid in silence a little longer. Hongjoong couldn't help but think about the meaning a bit longer.

To be a star.

Had she just named him after the stars? Or was there something deeper? Though he knew a 'star' could be a lot more than a performer, he couldn't shake the thought.

He turned back to Seonghwa.

"Did your mom want you to be a businessman?"

Seonghwa laughed.

"No, she would hate it if she knew the path I was on. She always said business ruined my father."

Hongjoong could tell that even though his tone was light, he didn't really find it all that funny.

"Funny enough, she always told me I would be a great musician someday. She said I had the voice of an angel."

"You do," Hongjoong smiled, looking Seonghwa in the eye. Their faces were inches apart.

They gazed at one another a while longer before Seonghwa pulled out his phone to check the time.

"Shit, we should probably head back. I've got a big presentation tomorrow," he sighed sitting up quickly.

Hongjoong stayed on his back a little longer, admiring Seonghwa's profile against the midnight sky. Eventually Seonghwa stood and turned towards him, offering a hand.

"Come on, we should probably go," Seonghwa said calmly.

Hongjoong accepted the hand and was pulled up off the ground, his fingers sliding back between Seonghwa's.

He looked up at Seonghwa and smiled, nodding that he was ready. They began making their way back to the dorms.