Ateez Roommates - Seongjoong

There Are No Juicy Secrets

Hongjoong yawned and stretched his arms out to the side, slowly waking up from his nap. But his arm hit a wall. His chair wasn't next to the wall.

He opened his eyes with a start and realized he was in his bed. Did he sleepwalk over here? That was new. Not entirely surprising, but new.

He shrugged it off and looked over at his computer and sighed.

Last night he had finally found her. Seonghwa's mom.

But when he went to message her, he couldn't do it.

It felt like an invasion of Seonghwa's privacy. He knew that he was already aware of this beforehand but somehow now that he was actually going to talk to her behind his back, it really felt wrong.

He knew he wasn't going to do anything that would upset Seonghwa and he knew that if things went well, they would be reunited but he didn't like that it felt like lying.

He knew as soon as he reached out there would be no going back.

But he also knew that Seonghwa couldn't stay in the situation he was in. And she was his best chance at helping him.

He took a deep breath and walked over to the computer, pulling up her account.

He stared at her picture, his hands shaking.

"This is the best option. And if she isn't who you think she is, he'll never have to know you met up," he nodded to himself.

"Who will never have to know?"

Hongjoong nearly fell out of his chair, as he quickly swiped out of the tab and turned around.

He breathed a sigh of relief, seeing it was only Wooyoung.

"Jesus, can't you knock!?"

"Where's the fun in that? Also how am I supposed to hear juicy secrets if you know I'm here?"

"There are no juicy secrets. And you shouldn't be eavesdropping anyways. Didn't anyone ever teach you that?"

"They tried. But I love drama too much to stop."

Hongjoong rolled his eyes and eased back into his chair.

"Why exactly are you here?"

"I feel like you're using a very moody tone and this no longer feels like a safe space."

"I'm sorry that being spied on makes me moody," Hongjoong snapped, but then calmed down. It was just Wooyoung. It's not like this was the first time he'd snuck up on him.

"Sorry. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Wooyoung finally entered—as he had been standing in the doorway this whole time—and closed the door.

"It's actually about San."

Hongjoong went to sit on the floor and motioned for Wooyoung to join him.

"How come you came to me? You two normally talk to Seonghwa about this kind of stuff."

"San and Seonghwa are too close, I didn't think it seemed like the best idea to talk to him about it. He generally takes San's side."

Hongjoong nodded, feeling like it was a good point.

"So you know how I'm a very outgoing person and I make friends easily?"

"Yes. It's almost annoying how quickly you make them."

"Well I made friends with these two guys from another dorm named Changbin and Felix and they're really fun to hang out with, but San never comes. So I've been hanging out with them on my own. And I'm pretty close with them so we probably hang out at least four or five times a week and San was being pissy about it so I brought it up with him."

Hongjoong vaguely remembered the names. He realized Changbin was one of the people Chris introduced him to at the RA meeting, and Felix was Yeosang's cheerleading friend. He nodded as he got all of the names straight.

"Basically, he went off on me. He's mostly mad because our class schedules are opposite each other and our jobs are too so we never really get to spend time with each other. Which isn't really fair to me because I didn't choose my schedule any more than he did."

"Are you hanging out with friends during the time when San is free?"

"Well yeah, but I always invite him along. Plus it's not every time he's free but they message me to do stuff and he never asks to do anything."

"I see."

Hongjoong pondered for a moment before responding, but as he turned he saw that Wooyoung was no longer angry, but rather his eyes were starting to water.

"It's all my fault, isn't it? I should just stay back and spend time with San. I know he doesn't ask but I can always tell. I just—I want him to make the move, you know? I'm always arranging everything and he just waits for me to do something for him. It feels like I'm the only one that's interested, you know? Like how do I even know he feels the same way I feel about him if he doesn't say it?"

Hongjoong wrapped his arms around Wooyoung as tears started to drop and he held him for a while. Once Wooyoung had calmed down a bit, he loosened his grip and rubbed his back.

"I think the best thing you can do is talk to him. I know—I know you tried already and it went horribly, but you should tell him what you told me just now. I'm not sure San is the most expressive person. I don't think he realizes how cold he seems to you. I think he thinks your constant attentiveness is something you do because you want to. He's holding back because he wants to let you lead."

"But I don't want to lead! Not all the time, at least."

"So tell him."

Wooyoung wiped a tear off his cheek and nodded.

"Also, about Changbin and Felix, you can still hang out with them as much as you want. But I think you're misreading San's annoyance. Honestly—I think he's jealous."

"Jealous?! Of Changbin and Felix??"

"I think he thinks you like one of them."

Wooyoung's jaw dropped.

"Wait—he thinks I—"

Wooyoung broke out in laughter and Hongjoong was startled but glad to see Wooyoung feeling better.

"He doesn't know??"

"Know what?" Hongjoong asked, evidently not knowing either.

"That Changbin likes Felix?? And Felix totally likes Changbin??"

Hongjoong was pretty shocked. He'd only met the guy once but Changbin had landed beyond straight on his gaydar. Evidently he needed to improve his assessment abilities.

"Seems like that makes it very easy for you to compromise."

"How so?"

"Just tell him. I think that will calm him down a lot."

"Oh, duh. Well, thank you so much for you help. I hope whatever secret meet-up you've got planned goes well. Wait—are you cheating on Seonghwa??"

Hongjoong's brain had almost forgotten what had happened at the start of their conversation and took a minute to catch up. When it did, his eyes grew wide and he quickly denied it.

"No! Absolutely not! It's nothing like that! It's not anything crazy, I'm just—meeting up with an old friend," he mustered, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation that wasn't the truth.

"An ex, and you think if Seonghwa knew he'd get upset with you! Tea," smiled Wooyoung, as he started leaving the room giggling.

"No! Definitely not an ex! Wooyoung! Don't you dare go throwing those ideas around!"

"Don't worry Joongie I won't tell!" cackled Wooyoung as he dashed just out of Hongjoong's reach and slammed the door.

Hongjoong held his temples, taking deep breaths. He loved that kid but sometimes he really tested his patience.

Finally he turned back towards the computer. It was time. He had to message her.