The Not So Perfect Love Story

6|| The untold parts of the story

It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you,

if you allow it. –Unknown

6|| The untold parts of the story

"Say something Char, please." James said after a while.

I looked up slowly and met his gaze. I continued to stare at him as my mind whirled around the same thoughts again and again. Trying to understand how people find it easy to give up on things that they once held close to them. Whether they were lying about holding it dear.

"What do you want me to say James?" I asked him in a whisper. I suddenly felt too tired to speak.

"Anything to show me you heard what I just told you. That you understand what I just told you." He replied desperation dripping in his voice.

"I-" my voice faltered and I took a deep breath in trying to steady it. "I heard your explanation; every last word of it. But I don't understand it completely, at least not yet. I need time to wrap my head around all the information I got today. I think it'd be best if I left."

I stood up and made my way to the door slowly. The alcohol and the information were all hitting me, draining my energy. Once I opened the door I felt a hand wrap around my wrist and a gentle tug. I turned around and faced the man that held my hand in his now and stared with a blank look, his face fell before he mustered the courage to say what he wanted to say.

"Please call me when it's all sunk in. I wish to talk to you more, please." He almost begged me.

I nodded my head at him and turned around leaving him behind. One of the bouncers of the club stood a few steps away from the door and the moment he saw me he spoke into his earpiece. By the time I reached the man, Bash was running up the stairs. He stopped when he saw me near the top stair and then waited till I reached the one he was standing on.

Wordlessly he held out his hand to me and I grabbed it like my life depended on it; maybe in that moment it really did. His hold my hand tightened and he lead me down the stairs and wrapping his arm around my waist immediately after, helped me to the door of the club. Once outside we stopped as my chauffeur started the car and drove to where I was standing at.

Bash looked at me as I sat in the car searching for something. Something made me grab his hand and squeeze it with whatever energy I had remaining in me. He gave me a nod and got into right next to me. The chauffeur drove off towards my house while I sat in the seat moments away from breaking apart with Bash's arms holding me together.

We made it to my place and I watched as Bash punched in the code and the door opened. We entered and went straight to the living room where Bash sat me on the couch and left to go to the kitchen. He brought me a bottle of water and I drank it, trying to swallow whatever emotions were trying to escape me along with the cold water.

"He saw pictures of me with Finn. Stacy showed them, then he found them online. He saw me in the diner kissing Finn's cheek. He decided I was cheating on him and broke up with me." I say out loud hoping it will make more sense if I did. It did not. It only broke me more.

I'm sure Bash already exactly what happened, he has been in contact with James all these years. I turned to him with the same blank face and asked,

"Is that all that my love was worth for?"

"No, sweetheart. Your love is worth so much more than that. James was an ass for how he reacted to the situation. Now, let me tell you some things that explain why he did it, not because I want to justify him, but because you need to know this as well before you let yourself think such thoughts." He paused taking in a deep breath before continuing.

"James has always been insecure about his relationship with you. Everyone around the two of you could see how in love with him you were. They could see the hearts in your eyes the moment his name was mentioned, or he entered the room. 

There were so many people who tried to flirt with you all through high school hoping you'll leave him and move onto them. So many people wanted you for the way you loved him. And all of this made him insecure, jealous. It should have given him more reassurance that despite all the options you were picking him, but the fool only became more and more insecure.

It continued in college but in a much larger scale. Adding to that, you making new friends there as you found the people that were more your kind of people. He grew distant with you because he thought he was not good enough and you'll leave. 

I know you noticed that and tried to close that distance, it worked for a while because it gave him a small hope. But it also made him question if he deserved this kindness from you.

That slowly got converted into questioning your kindness. The mind is a dangerous place, sweetheart, and he was battling monsters in there that fed on his doubts and insecurities. He started wondering if the kindness you showed to him were to cover the fact that you were cheating on him. Whether they were for softening the blow when you finally did break up with him. He was so far into it that he wanted to be the one to leave first so it hurts less.

When he found out the truth behind the pictures a few months after the break up, he went to therapy. He had anxiety issues among others that he doesn't talk about to us. That is why he took over the company so late. He was ill sweetheart, it does not right his wrongs, but it explains his actions."

And for the second time in one night I was stumped with the information dumped on me. He had issues that he didn't trust me with. My love wasn't worth that.

What was my love worth for if I am to be not trusted with anything.

*************

Never question your love's worth for anyone else. If anything they do not deserve your love. But it is okay to let your feelings consume you to the point you break down.

What you're feeling is valid, and no one else can tell you otherwise.

Please share your thoughts and vote.