The Not So Perfect Love Story

26|| He loves me, he loves me not

I tried to forget but you grew roots around my ribcage and sprouted flowers just below my collarbones.

All day I pluck their petals but I have not yet ascertained whether you love me or not.

- Micelle Hodkin

26|| He loves me, he loves me not

"Why would you go to such lengths to make sure I was apologized to? I mean I understand messing up your customer's order over a little jealousy is not right and all, but you pulled your investments away and that is sure to bring a loss soon. So why do it?" I ask Bash.

He stared at me for a while and a sigh was heard from our side, and when I look at Finn he was shaking his head as if I were hopeless. This reminded me of the conversation I'd had with him a few days ago and I wondered if it were possible.

It had been the day after I broke James' heart for good and cried for my own loss in Bash's arms. I had been confused about the feelings that had woken in me that night and had wanted to talk to someone. Bash was obviously the first name that came to my mind but I couldn't talk about this with him, so I went to Finn.

"I felt a weird guilt in the morning after in Jamaica. I thought it was because I slept with my ex that hurt me, with whom I did not want another chance. Then when I spoke with him and I realized he had a girlfriend, I thought I was guilty for helping him cheat. But it was neither Finn, the guilt was because I felt like I betrayed Bash."

"Sounds like you feelings for him." Finn replied.

"Yeah, I think I do." I replied dejectedly and Finn looked up surprised, "What? I am capable of accepting truths, you know."

"Good for you then." Finn chuckled. "But do tell me what actually led you to accept these feelings?"

"Last night after I spoke to James, Bash supported me. He just let me talk and then told me he was proud of me and held me as I cried. And all that was going on in my mind was the fact that Bash has always been there for me. And then it was like a freaking slideshow of all times he was there by my side and how I felt each time." I took a breath.

"I think I've had these feelings for a while but just wanted to ignore them. Bash deserves to be loved, Finn, and I was scared it was just rebound what I felt for him. Now I'm scared it isn't and I don't know how to feel about that. I mean why would he even want me, I'm his best friend's ex girlfriend. And here I am falling like it was a diving sport or bungee jumping."

"God you're blind" Finn groaned. "That boy's in love with you and you think he doesn't want you."

"I will not allow someone to mistreat or insult a woman out stupid jealousy by waitresses. Especially not a woman who's out with me." Bash replied to my question staring into my eyes.

My heart fell into my stomach at that, and I felt stupid for having held onto the hope that he went to such lengths because he felt something for me.

Of course he doesn't have feelings for me.

He is listed in the world's most desirable bachelors, and while so have I been for the bachelorettes it isn't the same. And he's never settled for anyone and to wish for him to choose me, his best friend's ex girlfriend, makes me the pathetic one.

"That's what I thought, after all you were raised to be a gentleman." I say with a small chuckle, masking the clogging of my throat.

Bash's face contorted in confusion, but before he could ask me anything else Amber entered and told me I had an emergency meeting with some client in 10 minutes. That gave me the excuse to leave my seat while trying to multitask by stuffing my face and looking for the related files at the same time. This meeting was very important for our new plans of venturing into airlines.

When my hands got free of the food they were holding, I found the files and started going over them one by one. I had forgotten about the two other people in the room by then, focused completely at the task at hand and was taken by surprise when I felt a hand on my shoulders turning me slightly and wiping my mouth. That's when I noticed the crumbs of the burger were sticking onto my lips and chin.

"I'm leaving for my office now. I'll come pick you up when you're done, ok?" Bash whispered huskily.

A delicious shiver ran down my body and I was so caught up in this feeling that I could only nod. He smiled and pressed a kiss to my cheek, letting his lips linger for a few moments more than a friendly kiss. When he pulled back he noticed the dumbstruck look on my face and chuckled before walking backwards to the door.

That kiss was enough to send my mind into overdrive the whole day, although I did manage to get some work done, so I'm proud of myself. When it was time to leave I asked Finn to drop me home, to which he refused and called Bash who had been waiting in the parking lot of our office building.

We drove home together after getting some dinner and he kissed my cheek again as he dropped me off at my door.

The same lingering kiss.