The Not So Perfect Love Story

13|| Conflicting emotions

Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.

-Unknown

13|| Conflicting emotions

The sunlight streaming in from the window irritated my eyes and hung over head. I opened my eyes and looked around the familiar resort room and then turned around to face the other direction and sleep again.

Well, tried to anyway but an arm around my waist held me in place, not letting me move. I looked to see who it was; annoyed that I had the sun still glaring at me and this arm wasn't letting me escape. 

A mop of honey blonde hair lay on the pillow. They opened their eyes and stared at me without saying anything.

"Will you stop staring at me Char? I'm trying to sleep here after we spent most of last night awake." He said with a small tired smile.

My mind was racing a million thoughts a second. I did not remember a lick of what happened last night and it was scaring me. The last thing I do remember is going to the dance floor and somebody dancing with me, but that's all and my panic was not helping me either.

"I need to use to use the bathroom." I tell him hoping he'll let go.

"Come back soon Char." He said as he let go.

I rushed to the bathroom and took care of the urgent matter and then turned on the shower standing beneath it. The cold water helped snap me out of the hangover and focus on the memories. And I remember the conversation that lead to us stumbling into his car and then his room in their resort cabin.

"Who said I don't, James?"

I really had to be most stupidest person to have done that. I groaned and finished showering and got out with a bathrobe wrapped around me.

It was 11 in the morning and that meant that the girls and I are supposed to leave for some more shopping in about half an hour. With that in mind I slipped on last night's clothes and exited the room and then the cabin.

The girls were all scattered about in the living room and it was good to see that none of them were aware of anything.

I quickly went into my room and got dressed in a comfortable pair of short and bralette top before going out and waking them up. I ordered the breakfast and coffee for all of us and within the next hour all of us were ready to leave.

We packed our bags and left them in the car as we roamed about the streets enjoying the sun and air. Around 3 in the afternoon we met back at the car and went off to the airport to board our jet back home. During the flight my mind was reeling with all that happened in this short trip.

The fact that I had to take a plan B for the first time in years because I was not sure if we used protection the night before was not helping it at all.

My emotions were a mess and I needed to clear my head.

When we landed I saw that dad had come to pick us up and drive us home. The girls were staying the night at our parents' along with Mia and she asked for me to stay with them. Maybe a girls' day in is what I need right now to get my mind away from things. With that in mind I agreed and we spent the night prepping and pampering ourselves with face masks and nail paints and expensive wine.

The next day Bash called to see if he could meet up and I told him to pick me up from my parents' place. We had breakfast together and he told me that the alcohol order for the wedding had been placed, the exact thing that Mia wanted and I smiled, relieved.

"Something's bothering you." He declared as we exited the place after eating. "If you don't want to address it in fear of making it real then, I'll say allow yourself to feel every emotion associated with it. That way accepting it becomes easier. You also know I'm there for you, for when you're ready to talk about it."

"Thank you Bash. I'm just too confused as to what I am feeling, what I want to feel and the distance between it all. I'll reach out to you when I know for sure what it is that is actually bothering me." I reply.

He nodded and wrapped his arms around me, bringing me into a comforting hug and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

He then spent a few hours with me, helping me run a few errands and then dropping me off at my parent's place. I got into the house and made my way straight to the kitchen to unload the grocery bags I was carrying without paying attention to the voices from the living room.

"Lottie? I heard you come in, where are you?" Mia's voice rang out.

"Coming." I yell back and make my way to the living room after packing away the last bag of food.

As I enter the living room though I freeze for a second before I force myself to act like nothing happened. The Knights were there and mum and Mama Knight were busy with Mia pouring themselves over the planner.

"Bash said the alcohol order has been confirmed. So that's one less thing to worry about." I announce as I enter.

James' face flickered with an emotion but it was too quick for me to read it. He stood up and walked towards me.

"I wanted to talk to you Char. Do you have some time?"