Too Many Chances

Chapter Sixteen

I called my mother and after hanging up called William. As soon as I was done, Maxwell appeared.

"Are you done?" He queried.

"Yes."

He came in carrying a bottle of soda-black currant and two empty glasses. He poured the drink in the two glasses and handed me one. I thought of telling him I was not thirsty for soda, water, juice, milk or any other drink, but for him.

I dismissed the thought. It reminded me of the day he had visited me and upon offering him tea, he had declined, saying he only wanted me.

"Thanks. I'm glad you still remember black currant is my favourite soda."

"Don't mention it."

This time he sat at the table. I joined him and we clicked our glasses. Our backs faced his wardrobe. He took my phone and browsed through it.

"Who is this?" He showed me a photo. He was checking my gallery.

"It's my best friend, Jamila. We go to the same campus," I answered.

"Oh. She's the one who made believe she was somebody else."

"I'm sorry. It was the only way I thought I could see you without your knowledge."

"Don't apologize."

I gave him a weak smile and gulped down my drink till the glass was empty.

"Do you hate me?"

The question was unexpected.

"Not as much as I love you." My answer was sincere.

He hurt me but I still loved him a lot. And I was certain that deep down he loved me too.

There were so many things I needed to tell him. He was one of a kind and in the few months we had been apart I hadn't been able to replace him in my mind or in my heart. No one compared to him.

"Are you happy for me?"

I pressed my lips together and looked away. He was not going to like my answer, for sure.

"Obviously not," he said.

Silence reigned for a few minutes. I turned to face him. He got alarmed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing," I answered.

"Don't give me that. You know you're not such a good liar." He lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked again.

"I already told you am fine."

He moved his face closer to mine and touched my cheeks.

"You can tell me."

"Okay." I took a small breath. "I was just remembering our past, you know, how happy we were together."

"And?"

"I miss all that, Max."

He opened his mouth, closed it. Then opened it again. I put up my hand to stop him from talking.

"Don't say anything. I know I can't bring it back. It won't happen since you've already moved on."

"That's right. Plus, I don't want to complicate things between us."

"Things are already complicated. I find it hard to be friends with you when what I want is a lot more." I tried to speak past the in my throat. "Now I know how it feels to lose someone you love especially when that person is out of your reach."