Journey to the Beautiful Ending

C37 - He's back

A yawn came out from Jin Ling's mouth. He already felt sleepy but he know how fake his yawn was because the moment he laid on the bed, he won't be able to sleep. He stretched his arms as it was already getting numbed from all the work he had to do. He stood and went out of his chamber for a walk.

"Jin Ling? You're not sleeping yet?" It was Jin Chan who was on patrol tonight.

Jin Ling shook his head. "As usual. I can't sleep. I'm going to the kitchen to get some tea."

Jin Chan, "I'll do it. Go back to your room."

Jin Ling, "No need. I can do it. I've been bothering you already."

Jin Chan, "That's fine. I'm going to get some tea for my wife too. You should take care of  yourself. Your uncle was here again to check on you. Look at you. What would Sizhui will say if he saw you getting thinner each day?"

Jin Ling smiled faintly. "Then he can come back and feed me more vegetables."

Jin Chan became silent. He was used to hearing those words coming from their sect leader's mouth. Whenever he reminded him to rest, he would say "He can come back and scold me" or "He can come back and rubbed my back". Jin Chan knew that those dreamy words was also a wish deep inside Jin Ling's heart that Sizhui's death isn't real. That one day, he will come and visit him.

"Sorry. You must be irritated hearing it from me every single time."

Jin Chan sighed. "I know you love him so much but its been two years. Why don't try letting him go? I mean, you don't have to forget him but you also deserve to be happy."

Jin Ling smiled bitterly. "I hope its that easy. It was just too hard."

Jin Chan understood what he meant. Sizhui got himself killed just to save him. The guilt won't leave the sect leader's heart making it hard for him to forgive himself. Moreover, Jin Ling gave his whole heart to Sizhui, poured all his love so when he died, his lover also took it with him, making him unable to love again. Jin Chan couldn't imagined it too since he met his wife who just gave birth to their first child. He just hoped that someday, he will learn to let go of the past.

Jin Ling went back to his chamber as he wait for Jin Chan to bring his tea. He walked towards his table and opened some scrolls to read. He was about to sit when he felt something warm on his back.

"Mmm..." With the gentle rubbed on his back, he felt his eyes getting heavier until he no longer notice that he's slowly dozing off. The scroll fell from his hands but a fast hand caught it and put it back on the table.

"A-Ling."

"Mm?" He responded with his eyes almost close.

"Rest."

He felt that someone pick him up. He didn't know who was it but the way je was carried, he only do it with Sizhui whenever they 'do' it. Jin Ling wanted to open his eyes to see who's carrying him but its so heavy. He didn't feel any bad intention and the hug was so warm. He felt that the person walked towards his bed but his back didn't felt the wooden bed though the person sat on it. Instead, he felt he was facing someone's front, sitting on someone's lap. He felt the gentle pat on his back. His eyes keeps getting heavier and heavier. Something soft touch his lips. His lips curved a little smile as the person's scent was familiar. The sandalwood fragrance was the most used for incense but in Chunshi, the room has the smell of cinnamon incense. Jin Ling uttered in a faint voice. "A-Yuan."

"Mm."

"I miss you. So much." With eyes tightly closed, tears stained his cheeks but a gentle hand dried it.

"I miss you too." A gentle voice replied. "I miss kissing you. I miss getting inside you. I miss everything about you. So take a rest. Gain some strength. I wanted to eat you so badly."

"Then eat me. I miss you inside me too."

Jin Ling heard a giggle. "No. Not now. You need to rest."

"Don't leave me." He said as he hugged the person tightly.

"I won't. I will be here. I love you."

"I love you too."

Outside the fragrance hall, Jin Chan was carrying a tray of herbal tea when he saw Jiang Cheng on his way to Jin Ling's chamber too.

Jiang Cheng, "Its been two years but he still can't sleep without drinking that herbal tea?"

Jin Chan, "He tried to sleep without drinking it but his body already got used to it. If he didn't drink at least a cup, he would be so tired and restless tomorrow."

Jiang Cheng, "Let me bring it to him. You can go back to your wife and rest."

"Thank you, Sect Leader Jiang but there's something I need to get from Jin Ling." Jin Chan said as he remembered that Jin Ling will hand him a book.

"I see. Then, let's get inside."

Jiang Cheng opened the door without knocking and entered the room without hesitation only to be signalled to be silent by a person they never thought to see again. Jin Chan's heart was beating fast. He was not scared of ghost but to see one was shocking. His throat dried and he felt like throwing up. Jiang Cheng was not scared though but he was really surprised.

"He's already sleeping. Thank you, Jin Chan for bringing the tea. A-Ling won't need the herbal tea anymore."

Stammering, Jin Chan repeatedly nodded. "O-O-O-k-kay."

Jiang Cheng noticed how scared Jin Chan was so pulled him outside.

"I-Is t-that S-Si-Sizhui?" Jin Chan almost lose his breath by only saying those three words.

"I'm not blind. You aren't either. But what the hell is his ghost doing with my nephew?!"

"I don't know! I-I..." Jin Chan couldn't take it any longer and fainted. Jiang Cheng immediately caught him, letting the tray of herbal tea fell on the ground.

"Fuck! You really have to faint in this situation?!"