Journey to the Beautiful Ending

C30 - How to move on?

Italic words are flashback in this chapter.

Short update ✌️

*__________________*

It was mid autumn, the weather condition was good for travellers. The temperature were cooler and the days are clearer. Jingyi, with Lan Xichen's permission, invited Jin Ling in Cloud Recesses so they could both visit Sizhui in Lan Sect's ancestral hall which was located in the cave down the cold spring. The ancestral hall has protective barrier which only people who wears Lan forehead ribbon are able to enter. Jing Ling has Sizhui's two forehead ribbon and jade token. Sizhui left his previous forehead ribbon and jade token to him while the other forehead ribbon was given by Lan Wangji saying he could give it back if he fell for someone else.

"Our Senior head told us to bring you to Chunshi but you may decline it and we can arranged you to another chamber." The junior disciple, who went to greet him, told Jin Ling after he saluted.

Jin Ling never stepped to Sizhui's chamber yet. His heart wanted to stay there but his mind was telling him no. That was because he may not be able to himself. However, he followed his heart and followed the disciple towards the Chunshi.

Sizhui's chamber was simple but it was filled with books and scrolls. There are materials for painting too. His bed was big enough and it can fit  for three people. He smiled faintly and sat on the wooden bed. They were not able to bless the bed with their lovemaking yet. Back in Baling, Sizhui told him that HanguangJun permitted him to bring his lover in Cloud Recesses and stay in Chunshi.

"Really?" Jin Ling clarified what he heard. He was currently sitting on Sizhui's lap wrapping his arms to his neck. "HanguangJun really told you that you can bring me in Cloud Recesses after the festival?"

Sizhui, "Mm."

"Now that our relationship has been exposed, where will I stay?" He naughtily asked.

Sizhui caressed his back. "Where do you think?"

"Can we make love in Chunshi? Well, your chamber was named pure. Can we impure it?"

Sizhui's eyes glinted and his smile became wide showing his white teeth. "Well, we can do that. We can stay there the whole day."

Jin Ling smiled on those lovely memories. Those smile. He bit his lower lip. His eyes are starting to heat up again. He felt the tightness in his chest. He was so happy all the time she was with him. Now, all the memories that the two of them have built are just memories of the past and the dreams that they both planned will remain just dreams.

Jin Ling wiped his tears when he heard a knock from the door. He stood and went to open it. "Jingyi."

"I should have arranged you to another room. I know you would cry again here."

"Whether I stay into another room or here, it will still be the same."

"I know." Jingyi was on the verge of crying again. It has been months but he still couldn't move on. Sizhui's memories still lingered in his mind. He closed his eyes and let out a breathe. "Let's go."

"Mm."

The ancestral hall of Lan Sect was quite wide and big. It was a bit cold inside too as it was surrounded by cold water that was connected to the cold spring. There were rows of tablet and they were properly place accordingly. Jin Ling followed Jingyi to the right corner where the Lan Sect's main family's tablet are located. Sizhui's tablet was place near the previous Lan Sect leader. It was there written Lan Yuan. Beside the tablet was the sealed jar of his ashes that was previously in a box.

The two men took three incense in the container and prostrated three times then they stuck the incense in a bronze tripod that was place near the tablet. Jingyi let out a sigh as he caressed the jar of his friend's ashes.

Jingyi, "I have been trying to reach him using inquiry in Chunshi."

Jin Ling, "Did he answer?"

Jingyi, "No. Do you think he was already reincarnated?"

Jin Ling, "I don't think so."

"Jin Ling." Jingyi turned to the other man in yellow robe. "I met Wen Yang on our last night hunting. You should take care of yourself. Sizhui won't be happy seeing you unwell."

"Would he know? If he did, he should come and scold me."

"I'm scare of ghost." Jingyi admitted, staring at the tablet. "But I won't mind if he will come and visit me. I wish he would visit me."

"You finally admitted it." Jin Ling said in a jokingly manner.

Jingyi faint a smile. "I want to see him too. I want to ask him if he is okay now. I want to know if he have something to do before he suddenly die so I could help him fulfill those."

"You won't be able to fulfill it." Jin Ling told him.

Jingyi, "What made you say that?"

Jin Ling heaved a sighed and smiled naughtily. "We were planning to make love in Chunshi after the Dansheng Festival. Wander the world–"

Jingyi rolled his eyes. "Shameless. You're also infront of our predecessors." He reminded him.

But Jin Ling just smiled at him. "I'm just letting you know that there were things we both wanted to do, yet everything was just a plan now. If there are things he would want to fulfill, that's to make our dreams come true."

Jingyi, "Sizhui told me that he already fell for you even before your confession. Crazy. He was able to hide it from me. I always thought he was dense."

Jin Ling chuckled. "Now that make me curious as how he fell for me." Then his smile was changed into a sad one. "But I think my questions will never be answered. Well, maybe, one day. Once we met again."

Jingyi, "You should start moving on. It won't be good if you keep loving a dead person."

Jin Ling looked at him with sadness visible in his eyes. "How?"

It was just one word but the answer was unknown. Jingyi haven't fall in love yet. If their HanguangJun kept his feelings for Wei Wuxian for thirteen years, what more to lovers who already created so much beautiful memories.