"I just don't want to sound like I'm being selfish, because it's nothing like that. I just prefer to do it alone, you know? And if I'm at home, I don't have to send the horses away." I reason.
"I get that, but with the amount of dogs you're about to take on are you sure you'll even have time for anything else?" Hardin asks me.
I could hear the slight sadness in his voice, and the tinge of guilt for even asking such a thing.
"I will always make time for you, and the pack." I say softly, grabbing both sides of his face and giving him a quick kiss.
"I just want to help." Hardin sighs, resting his forehead against mine.
"I know, and if I'm struggling you will be first person I call." I promise him, knowing he doesn't like the idea of me going home and dealing with almost twenty dogs with attitudes like Lucifers.
"How are you going to find them all homes?" He wonders.
"I know a lot of humans that could do with a little protection." I murmur, recalling how many women and men I saved from abusive relationships.
And by saved, I mean I killed the one abusing him/her.
"This is a luxury kennel for a bunch of home wreckers." Hardin comments, glancing at the multiple images I drew up and printed for the contractor.
"Says the one with a three story mansion that only ever uses four rooms." I muse.
Hardin chuckles. "The house is for the pack."
"My house is a house, this is not a house." I argue with him like a child.
"You're really annoying." He smirks at me, like I don't already know.
"Would you find me less annoying if I told you that I'm not wearing any panties?" I whisper to him with a sly grin.
Hardin's eyebrows shoot up slightly, his hand creeping to the edge of my gym leggings to see for himself. I immediately slap his hand away and laugh.
"Is it bothering you?" I ask suddenly, getting serious.
"Is what bothering me?" He wonders with a frown.
"Not mating, not being able to bite me." I say softly, wondering if he regrets agreeing to wait.
"It's frustrating at times, but it's not a big deal. Mating means taking a step into the whole pregnancy thing, and considering how that ended last time...I am happy with what we've got, how far we've come. I wouldn't change us, we're in a good place." Hardin says in a soft tone, his fingers gently grazing the spot above my elbow, back and forth.
His words make me feel somewhat less guilty. He's an Alpha, and they have a high sex drive, so naturally I feel like I'm giving him blue balls.
"Would you ever consider adoption?" I ask him quietly.
Hardin's eyes snap to mine with surprise. "Adoption?" He asks me softly.
I give a small shrug. "Yeah, you don't think it's a good idea?" I ask curiously, seeing the look on his face.
He immediately shakes his head. "No, it's not that. If you really want to, that I'll happily adopt with you."
"But." I sigh, knowing it's coming.
Hardin smiles. "But...the shift is what caused their deaths, something that couldn't have been avoided. It's different now, Kat...you're human."
"What if you're wrong? What if I'm just cursed? What if this is karma for all the innocent people I killed before?" I retort, pulling away from him briskly.
The idea of getting pregnant rubs me the wrong way.
"You're not cursed-"
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Miss Slovak?" A males voice has my head snapping towards the doorway. Even Hardin seems slightly taken back by the mans sudden appearance.
"That's me, can I help you?" I frown slightly, not particularly in the mood to do any favours right now.
"I'm Ben, the guy you emailed about the kennels." He tells me.
"Oh, right! Sorry, I completely forgot." I sigh, glancing at Hardin before I turn to Ben.
"It's fine, if I had known you were the Alpha Female I would have knocked." He says with a somewhat apologetic tone.
"It's fine, Uh...I was thinking of something like this." I show him the images I worked on last night, giving him a rough idea in the design and style, and of course size.
For a while we go back and forth, he takes notes of everything I want right down to the size of every kennel, what size doorway and door I'd like, the drainage system in the shower room, the materials. He's very thorough, and when he leaves to get things in motion, I don't feel worried at all.
"I've been thinking about it...and if I get sterilised we won't have to worry about having to go through it all again." I say, sitting in the edge of his desk facing him.
Hardin stares at me, partially in disbelief, but also turmoil.
"I get that you feel like it's the right thing to do, I just...sterilisation? It can't be reversed, Kat, we have other options." Hardin remains calm despite how uneasy the look in his eyes makes me feel right now.
He's looking at me like I'm killing all of his future pups, heirs that he needs to keep his family name going. To keep his pack alive.
"You're an Alpha, Hardin, we can't grow our baby in someone else's body." I tell him quietly.
"Kali, please...don't do this." He breathes, head in his hands as he attempts to come to terms with the fact that I'm basically condemning his entire pack to fade away.
"Give me another option, another alternative so that I don't have to bond with a pup that I will never get to see grow up." I plead, taking his hands from his face.
Does he think I want to do this? That this decision has come out of nowhere? I've been worrying about mating constantly since we started fixing our relationship, it's been months. This is the only solution for me, the only thing stopping me if the fact that I might lose Hardin.
"Speak to the doctors with me." Hardin decides.
"The pack doctor specialises in wolf pregnancies-"
"No, a human doctor, a specialist." Hardin states, taking my hands in his.
"Come with me, talk to them, listen to what they have to say before you go through with this." He begs me, looking at me with an almost helpless expression.
"Ok." I agree, simply for his benefit. If this helps him come to terms with the sterilisation, makes him feel like he did all he could to change my mind, then I'll listen to as many doctors as he likes.
But the fact is that I will not survive another loss, there's only so much a person can take. It's broken me before, damaged me in ways that I'll never recover, but doing it again?
I'd rather die.
"Thank you." He breathes in relief, kissing my hands.
YOU ARE READING
ENDURING {Sequel to Everlasting} ❗️EDITING ❗️
WerewolfLife after the ceremony was different. Kali was completely alone for the first time in her life, no parents making her obey, no mate to confide in. Still, she found ways to adapt. Five years. Five years since she laid eyes on the man she once ador...
