YOU - young royals sequel

one (1)

fuck. he's gone. not forever, not for a while, but for now. but this is what I wanted, isn't it? i wanted him to leave. i wanted him to figure himself out. i needed him to do it without me. he couldn't drag me through this. that's not fair on me. i was ready, and he wasn't. that's not his fault, but it still made me feel like shit.

so now i'm sitting here alone. the day after christmas. christmas was fine, good even. sara and i were finally back on good terms after the incident with dad. we, along with mom, spent christmas on the couch watching old movies. it was a bit boring, but i don't think i would've been able to handle anything else.

i haven't been sleeping in my bed. when i broke up with him, i wanted to remove him from my life until he was ready. i wasn't ready to get rid of him forever, so i didn't wash my sheets, and i slept comfortably in his scent. but now... now is so much different.

any reminder of him is like a dagger to my heart. his smell, his words, my room, and those god damn fish. sara has taken over feeding them. she has never asked how i am since we got home, but i know that she knows. the farthest she pushed was asking how i felt when she saw the look on my face after he left. i told her i felt good. i never told her how my heart shattered when he apologized. i never told her how my mouth went dry when he thanked me. i never told her how the breath was taken out of my lungs when he said he loved me.

he loves me?

the fucking crown prince of sweden loves me.

me of all people. why me? why did i have to fall for him? why did i have to kiss him that night? why did he have to fall in love with me?

these are the thoughts i keep myself up with when i'm trying to sleep. i can't look at my phone for more than five minutes without wanting to throw it out the window. texts from ayub, rosh, my dad, even other guys from school. but none of that mattered. there was nothing from him. i looked every time i got a notification to see the big box with "wilhelm" stamped in it. it never came.

and i suppose that's fair. he got the last word. he told me he loved me and i told him to have a good christmas. it's something that i've been beating myself up for. what else was i supposed to say? did he expect me to say i love him back? do i? i don't know. i hate not knowing. i hate having to toss and turn through my thoughts trying to figure out how i feel. its my life, i should know how i feel. but i don't. i don't know.

and i only have a week and a half to figure it out.

shit! that feels like so much less time when you say it out loud. i just got home a few days ago. i know break is only two weeks. two months ago i was dreading having to be away from him for that long. and now im dreading having to see him even more. what am i gonna do?

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what the fuck?

an invoice came in the mail today reading:

residents??? sara and i, residents of hillerska? it was common knowledge that boarding was only for those who are wealthy. we are anything but wealthy.

wille.

i stormed through the house trying to find sara. when i finally found her in her room reading with headphones in, i ripped her headphones out.

"simon, what the hell?" she said offended.

i shoved the letter into her face. she grabbed it and moved it away, reading and focusing on every word. a smile was painted on her face.

"i knew he would do it," she half-whispered.

"who? who?" i asked annoyed, "don't i get any sort of explanation? was it wilhelm? i swear to fuck-"

"no, god, no," she cut me off, "it was not wilhelm."

relief was swimming through my veins.

"then who the hell did it?" i said, a bit calmer than before.

"it was august," she announced, completely nonchalant.

august? august, the guy who scammed me for drugs? august, the guy who also paid me back for the drugs. as much as i hated to admit it, i had no real reason to hate him. sure, i obviously still dislike him, but not hate. especially after this. what was it? a peace offering? a pity gift? i know sara could see the thoughts flashing behind my eyes.

"why?" i asked, finally.

"well, he said he wanted to do a favor for us, you know, after everything," she explained.

ah, so a peace offering AND a pity gift. just what i needed. i don't have the right to be upset, though. i mean, he is wilhelm's cousin after all. any person who isn't a monster would feel bad.

"oh, okay" i replied calmly, and walked out of her room.

i need to lay down. i started to walk to my room, then i realized.

"nope," i whispered sadly to myself.

i walked to the living room to sit on the couch that has been my bed for the last week and a half. its not that uncomfortable when you get used to it. i pulled my phone from the couch cushion. its been sitting there for days. i unlocked it and ignored all the worried texts from everyone. if they really cared that much they would come see me in person.

i opened up my contacts and clicked the first person there. august. i started typing a text.

"hey august, i just got the invoice from the school. sara filled me in. thanks for letting us do this."

it sounded fake, i knew that much. but we aren't close, so i didn't know how else to phrase it without doing too much. hopefully it got the point across.

maybe this was another example of how the royal family could change.