YOU - young royals sequel

twenty seven (27)

💥SUBSTANCE ABUSE MENTIONED!!! if you think this could be a trigger for you, please skip this chapter. otherwise, proceed with caution, and please educate yourself on the dangers of addiction and overdose!💥

💥SELF HARM/SUICIDE MENTIONED!!! if you think you think it is at all possible for you to be triggered by details pertaining to this, please skip this chapter. if you do not feel that this could be a trigger, please still be warned that sharp objects, blood, and intentional overdose will be mentioned.💥

*august's point of view*

last night

i really did it this time. every fucking person i've ever loved i pushed away. i'm not wanted by anyone anymore. and i know it's all my fault. its all my fucking fault. my dad couldn't take me in life, so he chose death. my best friend left me in this world, and then i screwed over his little brother. i cheated on the girl i was convinced i was going to spend the rest of my life with with her best friend. i hurt erik's brother and his boyfriend again. i manipulated and verbally abused the girl i cheated with until she couldn't take me anymore. i hurt wilhelm and simon again. my mother disowned me. i lost all of my friends.

i took another sip from the bottle sitting next to me.

what's there to lose, really? i'm sure it's been wished upon me before. and i probably deserved it. i'd want the person who did half of the things i did to die too.

i looked next to me and grabbed the pills. i shook the bottle. there was enough. i read the label. it was pain medication. it could work. i put the bottle down.

next to it there was a blade. i picked that up instead. i studied it. if could effortlessly take my pain away if i gave it the power. or really, i would be taking to pain away, as it gave me the power.

wilhelm and simon went out tonight. i watched as wilhelm took his hand and they walked to the car laughing. i watched wilhelm open his door for him. i watched the car drive away, and i saw simon kiss wilhelm as they pulled out of the parking lot. i was happy for them, i truly was.

but everytime i saw them together, something inside me got stronger. it was growing like a storm. i couldn't exactly name the feeling. disgust? pride? envy. he had everything. he got to make mistake after mistake after mistake, yet i was the one sitting here contemplating death.

i laughed.

imagine the headline: a member of the royal family lost to a mental health battle.

people would read it because of the words "royal family". they would say "aw" and "i hope the family is doing okay", but they wouldn't actually care that i was gone. in a couple months nobody would remember. it would probably be known as "the incident", just like erik's death still is, but they wouldn't stutter over their words when they mentioned it. "when august killed himself," they would say bitterly.

they would think i did it for attention. they would unlock the door to my room after i wasn't in class a few days in a row, and they would find me. people would be shocked. people would be angry. hopefully some would cry. i know they won't.

i just sat in bed, letting any thought that wanted to be there come to me. i don't know how long i was sitting there.

i heard a car door slam outside. i walked over to the window. wilhelm and simon just got back. they were walking very quickly into the building. a couple minutes later i heard pounding up the stairs. my room was a few doors before theirs. there was lustful laughing coming from simon. i heard the loud jingle of keys, as a door was being unlocked. the door slammed shut.

i took another sip from the bottle and looked at my phone. i haven't gotten a single notification in days. i showed up to class and then locked myself up in my room getting high or drunk. then i would sleep it off and be okay in the morning. every single time.