YOU - young royals sequel

seven (7)

i ran over to the door and turned it the second i heard him knock. i almost cringed at how desperate i must have looked. but, regardless of that, i opened the door and smiled at him. he smiled back at me. but smiling was wrong. we had absolutely nothing to smile about. it was an overrated gesture really, faking a smile to demonstrate your politeness. it deceived someone into thinking you were a happy person with no care in the world when you could be the exact opposite of that.

he looked better than i knew he felt, especially after the day he had. he was wearing a collared shirt underneath a jumper, and black trousers with a pair of sneakers. his hair was a mess, but that seemed to be the only thing that was out of the ordinary. i didn't understand it. i didn't understand how he was going through quite possibly the worst six months of his life, and he was still enticingly beautiful. i was staring for an awkward amount of time. he half-heartedly laughed to break up the tension.

"can i-?" he started.

wait to make me feel stupid. it was my own fault, anyway.

"yeah, of course!" i responded, opening the door wider and gesturing inside.

he walked in and trailed his eyes over everything. it was warming in a sense, feeling like he was touching everything, even if he wasn't physically touching it. he looked over at my bedside table and his eyes lingered for a bit. i knew what he was looking at. a month ago, when he stayed the night at my house for the first time, he obsessed over a candle i had. it was brand new, but before he left, more than half of it was gone. i didn't realize it until now, but i brought it with me because it subconsciously reminded me of him. which i am now understanding was very stupid based on the way he is looking at it. his eyes shifted from the candle to the posters on my wall, and then to the rest of my room. he looked back at me.

"i like it," he said bluntly.

"thanks," i replied, because I didn't know how to make it less awkward.

without thinking i closed the door and locked it, and not a second later i realized how much worse i just made it. i closed my eyes and sighed, and out went all of my hope that we could make this a normal meet-up. he looked at me and i was flooded with nostalgia. fuck.

"sorry, it's become a habit," i said as i reached my hand back to the door to unlock it again.

"no, no, no," he assured me, "it's probably for the best anyway."

i recognized the pain that lingered in his voice. if he was caught with me again it would be over for him. he would probably be taken out of hillerska and have a restraining order filed against me. i could hear his mom's voice already. i told you to stop talking to him, we have to protect the monarchy, being a prince is a privilege not a punishment, do you think erik would have wanted this?

the last one stung as soon as i thought it, and erik wasn't even my brother. i couldn't even begin to imagine how he felt. when he... the night it happened we were doing great. he was coming to spend the weekend with me at home with mom. we finally decided what we were and we were happy. then he got the call. he got the call saying that his best friend and brother was in a car accident and gone.

he was out of school for a week. i texted him five times every day, and i never got a response. i didn't blame him. i wouldn't want to talk to anyone either. the day he came back i had to sing for him. i remember breaking down in rehearsals. but i couldn't explain myself to anyone. i didn't want to. when i preformed the song, i was holding back tears the entire time. i almost broke when he locked eyes with me. after my performance when he told i can't do this anymore i did break. i called my mom to pick me up right after. i was so upset that she knew better than to pry something out of me.