Close To You

7

TW's:
-None

George's POV

After Clay played Minecraft for two hours, he was tired and quit. He laid down in bed and I sighed as I looked at Sapnap sitting down on the corner of the bed. I wanted to ask something about sexuality, but I didn't really have the courage to yet.

As I looked down at my hands, Sapnap noticed something was on my mind and waved his hand in front of my face. 'Are you okay?'

I shrugged. 'I just wanted to say something about this afternoon,' I muttered. 'When you were talking about that girl.'

Clay sat up a bit and Sapnap nodded with a smile. 'What's up?'

'It's just- I- I-.'

'Calm down,' Clay said. 'You can tell everything to us and we will never get mad or whatever.'

'I just uh- I feel like- nothing for- I-.'

Sapnap nodded slowly and smiled again. 'Do you need help?'

I sighed and nodded. 'Please.'

'You feel nothing for girls?' Sapnap filled in my last sentence. He looked up at me to see if he was right and I shrugged.

'I guess, but I uh- don't know what else I feel.'

'Do you feel something for boys?' Clay asked.

'I don't know, I uh- I can imagine myself with a boy better than with a girl.'

'Are you attracted to boys?' Clay asked me as he comforted me by grabbing my hand.

'I don't really know how it feels to be attracted to someone,' I muttered awkwardly.

'That's fine,' Sapnap said. 'It took me a while to figure it out too. You have different types of attraction, the most common ones are romantic and sexual attraction. When you're romantically attracted you want a relationship with that person. When you're sexually attracted you want to do sexual stuff with that person.'

I nodded slowly. 'And uh- if I-,' I started, but I was way too nervous to continue.

'Calm down, okay?' Sapnap said. 'It's totally fine if you appear to be gay. There's no need to be nervous about it.'

'If I uh- have imagined myself to be kissing with a boy? Is that uh- g-gay?'

'Did you like the thought of kissing with a boy?'

'I would uh- like to try it someday,' I whispered.

'And kissing with a girl?'

'It doesn't feel the same as I feel when I think about a boy?'

'What do you feel when you think about kissing a boy?' Clay asked as he was still holding my hand.

'My heart goes a little faster, I get nervous and a weird feeling in my stomach. Sometimes my cheeks get a bit warmer when I think about it.'

'That might be sexual attraction to boys,' Sapnap said.

'Oh- I'm sorry- I didn't know, this is awkward.'

'It's not awkward,' Sapnap said. 'Why would it be awkward?'

'It's weird that you know I'm sexually attracted to boys.'

'So? I'm sexually attracted to girls and Clay is- I'm sexually and romantically attracted to girls,' he saved himself. I had no idea what Clay's sexuality was anymore and so didn't Sapnap.

Clay shrugged. 'I'm uh- very barely romantically attracted to girls,' he muttered.

'Oh I'm sorry! Are you asexual and aromantic?' Sapnap asked.

Clay shrugged and looked down at his hands with bright red cheeks. He seemed to be on the verge of tears and Sapnap quickly looked at me.

'Do you also want a relationship with a boy?' he asked me to avoid talking to Clay for now. Clay looked back up after he cleared his throat and sighed softly.

'I wouldn't be against the idea of having a relationship with a boy,' I answered, getting a bit more comfortable with talking about it.

'And a girl?'

'I don't really know, it doesn't sound very appealing, does it?'

Sapnap grinned. 'For me it does, so I think you like boys way more than girls.'

'What sexualities have that?'

'Gay, bisexual,' Sapnap started. 'That's what I know where you like boys or you can have a big preference for boys.'

'Omnisexual,' Clay muttered.

'What's that?' Sapnap asked politely.

Clay shrugged. 'You like all genders, but you still have a preference. I read something about it the other day.'

'I think gay fits me the most,' I muttered. 'I don't feel much for girls and if I do it's so little that you can barely count it.'

'I'm so proud of you!' Sapnap said. 'It's totally fine to be gay.'

I looked at Clay and shrugged awkwardly. 'Do you want me to sleep on the air mattress now? I understand that you wouldn't want to sleep in one bed with someone who is gay.'

Clay pulled me down as I was laying down next to him. 'I'm in no way homophobic or whatsoever.'

'I won't touch you or anything.'

Clay giggled. 'Try it out and see what happens,' he grinned.

Sapnap bursted into laughter. 'My mattress is not going to be in this room. A make out session, okay, but you two just touching each other and doing I don't know what, I'm out.'

Clay rolled his eyes. 'I was joking, dumbass.'

'Sure, sounds legit.'

'Do you know how often I had a speech from my mother,' Clay wheezed. 'Even if I liked boys, I wouldn't dare to after everything I heard from my mother.'

'To be fair, you are both boys so you can have sex all you want and nothing would happen.'

'Shut up, we aren't going to do shit like that,' I muttered awkwardly. 'He's not even gay.'

'So you would if he was gay-,' Sapnap started, but then laughed so hard that he stopped.

'Dude, shut up,' Clay said. His cheeks were very dark red. 'We aren't doing anything like that, please stop.'

Sapnap rolled his eyes. 'Fine, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm just kidding. You know that I'm not trying to bully you, right?'

'Yes, it's fine, but I think Clay is a bit uncomfortable,' I said with a small smile.

Sapnap nodded and giggled. 'You're such idiots.'

'All because I'm gay?' I teased him.

Sapnap didn't know what to say and Clay wheezed. 'Now he's finally silent.'

'Anyway,' Sapnap grinned. 'I'm going to sleep, I'm tired.'

'Okay, goodnight,' we all said.

I laid down next to Clay as Sapnap fell asleep very quickly.

1054 words