Close To You

12

TW's:
-None

Clay's POV

We had dinner and I sat as far away from George as possible. As soon as our eyes made eye contact, my face got really red and I nervously started poking my fork in my food. George decided to leave me for a little and talked with Sapnap as we ate our dinner.

After dinner, George and Sapnap chilled together and I left to go upstairs. I wanted to hide myself, I didn't dare to see George after what happened anymore and I was so incredibly embarrassed about myself.

I sat in my bed as I started sobbing softly. Within a second I felt tears streaming down my face and I squeezed the sheets to suppress myself from sobbing loudly. I was actually so embarrassed and I was safe to say that I hated myself for what happened.

I couldn't control my dreams and I definitely couldn't control what happened because of my dreams, but I was still so embarrassed and extremely scared to go to sleep again. What if I dreamt about the same thing and it happened again when he was next to me?

I started sobbing loudly now and then heard footsteps on the stairs. I hid my face in my pillow as the door slowly opened and someone sat down on the bed.

'Clay? What's wrong?' Sapnap's voice sounded through the room.

'I don't want to talk about it,' I whispered. 'I'm really embarrassed and uncomfortable.'

Sapnap lifted me up and pulled me in for a hug. 'Trust me, Clay. You can talk to me.'

'No, it's too embarrassing.'

'It's good to talk about it instead of bottling it all up.'

'I just have some reasons to be really scared to go to sleep,' I whispered and broke the hug to lay down again. I saw Sapnap thinking for a bit, he looked at the bed and nodded slowly after.

'Is that why you showered?'

'What are you thinking of?'

'I don't know, you might have peed the bed or something.'

'I wish,' I muttered. 'It's so embarrassing and I don't dare to go to sleep anymore. What if George notices it.'

'Oh-,' Sapnap muttered with a small grin on his face. 'I understand what happened.'

'Stop laughing, please,' I muttered as I wiped a tear away. 'I know it's really weird, but I'm actually extremely embarrassed and I genuinely hate myself for what happened.'

Sapnap pulled me closer and smiled comfortingly. 'It's fine, Clay. Almost every boy has something like that happening once.'

'But it was about my best friend and I'm so embarrassed. I just want to continue crying,' I whispered.

'It's fine. I promise you. I've had it once and George might have also had it.'

'But not about your best friend,' I said, sobbing loudly after.

Sapnap started rubbing my back. 'Do you want me to sleep next to you? I can ask George to switch with me for some reasons.'

'He's going to be hurt by that, I don't want him to feel bad, because I just basically sent him away from me. It's still embarrassing if it happens again, but next to you.'

Sapnap nodded. 'Trust me, Clay. It's alright, you don't have to hate yourself for something you can't control at all.'

I clung onto him as tears fell down on his neck. 'Have I made you uncomfortable? Are you weirded out by me?'

'Not in the slightest,' Sapnap said with a smile. 'It's totally fine.'

I nodded slowly and wiped my tears away as I stood up again. 'I really hope it won't happen again.'

'Even if it did, you can't control it.'

'But I don't want him to know that I dreamt about him.'

'It's going to be okay,' Sapnap said and stood up as well. 'Let's go downstairs if you're ready.'

I nodded and we walked downstairs. George smiled at me and grabbed my hand. 'Are you okay, Clay?'

'I'm better now,' I said. I didn't want to lie to him so I left it like this without coming up with weird excuses.

George also decided to leave it and pointed at the television. 'There's a movie starting, but I don't know if it's good or not.'

'Okay,' I said with a smile. I was uncomfortable talking about him and I didn't even want to think about what would happen when we would be sharing a bed for two weeks without Sapnap there.

We just watched some of the movie, but left to go to bed before the movie had ended. I put on shorts and a shirt so if something would happen, it wouldn't be extremely obvious.

I laid down next to George later and tried my hardest to stay awake until he fell asleep. If I was sure he was asleep, I dared to sleep as well. Then he wouldn't immediately notice if something would happen.

I still ended up falling asleep before George did, since I was absolutely exhausted after my mental breakdown a bit ago. For some reason this day had exhausted me a lot, probably because I had been stressing so much about what happened and because the feeling of embarrassment was very strongly.

As soon as I fell asleep, I noticed my mind wandering off to George again as soon as I fell asleep. I tried fighting against it and tried to think about something else before I was actually stuck in my dream, but I didn't manage to. I saw George and me kiss again, it started gently and softly, but we ended up sharing a passionate kiss which made me feel very hot.

I was smiling in my sleep as my dream didn't stop now once we went a bit further than we did last time in my dream. I was kissing George's chest and hips as he was giving me kisses on my hair. I didn't even realise it was a dream anymore and was completely lost in the world with only George and me, not realising what was happening in real life.

1008 words