home

16

Mingyu continued pacing, he had been doing that for almost 30 minutes now.

He wanted to go talk to the younger, apologize for it, but he didn't know if right now was the right time.

Earlier, when Seungchoel and Jeonghan left, he tried talking to the younger but Seungkwan completely ignored him, making him feel more guilty.

He stopped walking as he took a deep breath, determined.

He walked towards the younger's room, taking one last deep breath before slowly opening the door, peeking inside, the lights were off and he could faintly see the younger laying on the bed, starting at the ceiling.

"Seungkwan", he whispered as he quitely made his way towards the younger's bed, not sitting down since he didn't want the younger to get uncomfortable.

He took the silence as his cue to continue.

"Sorry", he sighed.

"I really am sorry, I know I went overboard, but I swear it isn't like you think it is", this got the younger's attention as he sat up to a sitting position on his bed.

Mingyu cursed under his breath, great he made it worse.

"No look, I am not justifying what I said was right and I am not trying to come up with any excuse, I know what I said was so so wrong and I regret saying everything, I just wanted you to stop blaming yourself for everything I don't like it when you always stay negative things about yourself because they aren't even true, I mean I don't know", the older groaned, he was usually good at these types of conversations and at being clear with his words but right now he didn't know what to do with himself and that was really frustrating to him.

Seungkwan just maintained his silence letting the older struggle to voice his thoughts.

Mingyu took a deep breath before begining again.

He would clear everything one by one, he would be completely honest, that would be the best.

"Seungkwan I am really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, or say something so mean, I know I was unnecessarily mean, it's just since the morning you kept apologizing for the smallest things and I didn't like it at all when you were worrying so much about someone else's work, I know I should have first listened to your reason behind you helping that person out, and obviously I shouldn't have made a comment about your other friendships, it was just in the heat of the moment, I know that doesn't justify anything but I want you to know I didn't really mean it, I know you treasure your friendships so much and I shouldn't have said that", Mingyu paused to take a breath before continuing.

"And obviously you don't force me into listening to you when you are having a hard time or just a bad day, I volunteerliy listen to you, because I want to, like you always take care of me, by making me breakfasts, making sure I am never late for class or when I am being stupid and hurt myself because I am too clumsy, I also want to be there for you, and I really love it when you talk to me about anything and everything, I know the damage is already done but please I really didn't mean anything, I am so so so sorry", Mingyu let out a shaky breath, his voice grew smaller and smaller as the words left his mouth and the younger didn't respond to anything, he hated himself in that moment for not being able to control his anger and letting it get the best of him in the worst way possible hurting the younger so much.

He knew exactly how the younger was and yet he did that, he questioned the younger's friendships and made him feel worse about his ranting habits, even after knowing it was a sensitive topic for the younger .

"I'm sorry", he whispered for the last time, his face hung low, as he turned around to leave the room, if the younger didn't want to talk to him, he will respect that.

"hyung", Seungkwan's small voice stopped his movements, as he turned around too quickly.

The younger just shifted in his bed, making room for the older, and looked expectedly towards the older, before nodding.

Mingyu hesitantly walked towards the bed, standing at the edge.

Seungkwan just patted the space beside him as the gesture to make the older continue.

Mingyu sat down beside Seungkwan, his body still stiff.

The younger just covered their bodies with the comforter and snuggled close to the older's side.

"I am sorry as well", he mumbled from the older's side without looking up at the older, at his words Mingyu's body relaxed visibly as he settled into a sleeping position beside the younger, his hand making its way around the younger's arm, letting the younger's head rest on his chest.

At that moment he felt so grateful that he hadn't lost the younger's friendship as he thought he had.

He let out a sigh of relief, suddenly determined that he will somehow make it up to the younger in the coming days, as of now, he will just hold the younger close and drift off to dreamland, the day sure had been long for both of them.

Seungkwan on the other hand, had accepted the older's apology since he knew deep down Mingyu didn't mean it, but nevertheless the older's words did hurt and he wasn't ready to talk to the older yet so he just let the older know it was okay by letting him stay, since he didn't want the older to feel any more guilty and spend a night filled with sadness and haterd towards his own self.

____________

this is getting very random?

and double update because yes I feel guilty about not updating yesterday and also because I spend long hours studying physics today and right now I am supposed to be studying biology but I really don't feel like studying so I am here updating to reassure myself I am not completely wasting my time.
Also I am planning to stay up all night tonight so I might just update again and I have the greatest idea ever okay not the greatest but I think it will be good so yeah.

Hope this wasn't as bad as I think it is.
thank you for reading❤️
reviews are really appreciated.