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32

As the morning came, Seungkwan was way calmer than he was the previous night, as he calmly told Seungchoel and Jeonghan about everything that had happened, everything down to every detail, he confessed how he had stupidly developed feelings for Mingyu and had stepped into his own destructive one side love story.

Seungchoel was angry but he maintained his calm as much as he could, he asked Seungkwan to take a few days off and just stay here with them, he also promised the younger to find him another apartment, but Seungkwan was stuck on going to university because he still had his classes to which Seungchoel had to eventually give in.

Thus here Seungkwan was, walking quitely towards the bus station, to take a bus to his University which was far away from Seungchoel and Jeonghan's apartment. He prayed that he didn't crossed paths with Mingyu, he wasn't ready to face the older yet.

Mingyu on the other side was miserable, he let the feeling of guilt consume him as he layed in his bed, ignoring the fact that he still had classes to attend, skipping one day wouldn't be a big deal.

As he let himself drown in his feelings, he heard the doorbell bringing him back to reality, he jumped up from his bed, almost running towards the door, his mind, heart and every cell of his body hoping it was Seungkwan at the other side of the door.

But the person standing in front of him as he opened the door surprised him.

"Hyung?", He asked confused.

"I am trying hard to not punch you so don't do anything stupid to fuel this", Seungchoel said, his voice grim and low, making Mingyu gulp as he stepped aside to let the older enter, closing the door behind him.

"What are you doing?", Seungchoel asked once the younger closed the door, his eyes focused on Mingyu.

"What do you mean?", Mingyu questioned back trying his best to sound calm and collected, with his experience an angry Seungchoel was never a feasible thing.

"Listen I knew something was wrong by the amount of time Seungkwan was spending at our apartment but I let it be because it's between you two and I didn't want to interfere, but it's getting too much now, last night I picked Seungkwan up from the roadside aside the bus station, he was crying, really really badly", Seungchoel informed the younger as Mingyu's eyes widened as his brain processed the new information.

"Don't make me physically hurt you, he is trying to accept everything that is happening and you keep pestering him, stop using everything you know about him against him. Don't pretend you don't know what I mean, you know what hurts him the most and you are using that against him? I never thought you would be that low", Seungchoel's voice was venomous as his grip on the shoe rack tightened.

"Hyung it isn't like that-"

"Kim Mingyu I know exactly what it is like, you know he likes you, he has made that obvious, he is trying to accept his feelings and move on,  he needs time and space but you keep making it hard, if you don't like him like that then let him be, stop pestering him, stop trying to follow him around, stop getting jealous of Hansol and stop using his feelings against him, if you are dumb as fuck and can't figure out your feelings don't mess up with his, I swear if you continue with whatever this is, I will not just threaten you next time", Seungchoel threatened as he steped closer to the younger, his eyes focus on the younger as he glared at him before walking past him and leaving the apartment.

As soon as the older left, Mingyu's legs gave up on him as he found his body on the floor, he knew the older was right, he had always known it, that day when Seungkwan had clearly told him to stop and just act like a normal friends, he had understood what the younger meant, he wasn't that dumb, but he wasn't sure about his own feelings, he had never thought that way about the younger, the thought of kissing the younger had crossed his mind maybe once or twice but he hadn't really thought about being anything more than friends, he just told himself he liked what they had before all of this happened and he desperately wanted that back that is why he tried pushing Seungkwan way past him limit, he always went to the younger's class to pick him up only to get another excuse about how the younger was busy, he always cooked the younger meals, desperately trying to get everything back to normal, knowing nothing would be the same ever again, and last night, he had done something so wrong, he knew what his words meant to the younger, how seriously he took them yet he had let his jealousy consume him and without thinking he said all  that to the younger, he had repeated his mistake, the  mistake he had promised to never repeat, regret taking over his mind and body.

But having Seungchoel threaten him like that made him realise once again how wrong he was, but it also made him realise something else, something far more important, he realised that he indeed really had feelings for the younger, the feelings he couldn't recognise or understand, he had always wanted to be beside Seungkwan, make him as happy as he could, he had thought it was normal to feel like that without actually having that kind of feelings towards someone, but everything he did, his desperate attempts, him getting annoyed over how Seungkwan didn't have time for him or was always trying to avoid him or him getting jealous of Hansol pointed in only one direction that he indeed liked the younger, he was really sure of it now, he just had to do something to express this to Seungkwan, he just didn't know how now that the damage had already been done, and he had already broken the younger.

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okay I am tried so we will finish this maybe in a few days, I hope you like this so far, reviews are much needed and appreciated, thank you.

I wanted to add that these chapters are a little messy because i wanted to depict how messy figuring out your feelings is or expressing them in situations of distress is, I hope they are understandable though.