his flower queen (nikolai lantsov)

Razrusha'ya

Staying at the White Cathedral was literal hell for Kaida and for many of the others. They haven't seen proper sunshine in what felt like years and there were guards that watched over every move they made.

Kaida sat in the overheated Kettle beside Genya. For the past couple of weeks, Kaida spent her time with Genya, keeping her company. But also because she couldn't handle being around the pilgrims. 

Tamar and Tolya were busy being guards for the Apparat, so Kaida couldn't spend time with her best friends, and they unfortunately hadn't made the effort to talk to her.  

The other grisha and Mal constantly trained which only made Kaida want to use her grisha powers even more. She joined them quite often to keep up her physicality, but every time, all her built up emotions got the best of her that she accidentally hurt a girl named Ruby who was a part of the Soldat Sol. 

Before she got too emotional, she would go read a book that laid about, or borrowed David's to help research. However, he never seemed to want much help. 

"How are you doing?" Kaida asked. 

"I'll live." She replied, as she tried to cover her face from the girl. 

Kaida stopped her from covering her face with the shawl. 

"You can hide your face if that's what you want. But I think you look beautiful, and the world deserves to see more of Genya Safin's face." Kaida complimented, gently. 

Genya shook her head, defeatedly. "I look like a monster. You've heard the pilgrims, Razrusha'ya." She recited, quietly. 

Kaida certainly heard the pilgrims call her Razrusha'ya. That was one of the main reasons she disliked them. The pilgrims were only kind to Alina, but treated everybody else badly, especially Genya. 

As they were navigating through the underground to get to the White Cathedral, Kaida listened to the pilgrims traveling with them mutter Razrusha'ya and complaining about her which was the first cause of her anger. 

She had slammed one of the girls who called Genya the name on to a wall, threatening to cut her tongue off. Kaida had heard all about Genya's story from Mila and a bit from Alina, and wasn't going to stand around, letting her get mocked when she was exploited. Genya had let Alina go on the whaler, giving her time to discover where the third amplifier was and get stronger. 

Tamar had to pull Kaida off of the girl, and she surprisingly sided with the pilgrims. Said that majority of them were younger than Kaida and didn't know any better. 

"They're old enough to understand body language and emotions. Genya's clearly traumatised and fragile. And if they somehow can't tell that from looking at her or simply talking to her, then someone has to tell them off that they're being assholes." Kaida had spat out. 

"You're one to talk about understanding emotions." Tamar scoffed. 

Kaida wanted to pounce on the girl, but before anything got out of hand, Tolya got in the middle and stopped them.

From that day on, Tamar and Kaida hadn't talked. 

Although it was quite a strange thing to do and it brought a lot of discomfort, Kaida hesitantly took off her shirt, after placing her weapons down. 

Genya observed each burn and cut on her strong body. There was barely any smooth skin left, full of scars and stories nobody knew of except for the bearer. 

"How-" Genya breathed out. 

"It doesn't matter how I got any of these. I just want to show you that, these scars are what makes us strong. They remind us of how we pushed through the difficult moments of our lives or the mistakes that we made and hopefully, will never make again. They tell us who we are, and each and every one of these imperfections hold a story that only the person who holds it can share." Kaida said, surprising herself. She never thought of her scars like that before. All she ever felt towards them were hate and disgust, similar to Genya. They made her feel like a monster. "We can't get rid of them. They're a part of us until we rot, so all we can do is embrace them and accept that they're part of us." 

Genya had tears in her eyes. Beauty was her main thing, that's what she loved about herself, but all these scars ruined that. She knew Kaida was right, she couldn't do anything about it, so all she could do was embrace it. But it wasn't easy. 

"I'm still getting used to it as well, and I've had these for as long as I can remember." Kaida brushed along her stomach where the largest scar was. 

The red-haired girl squeezed the black-haired girl into a bear hug. They stayed like that for a while, completely understanding the other's pain and hoping to lift the suffering, even at the slightest. 

"Thank you." Genya whispered. 

"Of course." Kaida replied, slipping her tunic back on, her sleeves covering her arms like always, even though she was sweating.