To the One I Loved

Chapter Thirteen: Family

Nina's POV:
"Of course," Alex said. Then him and Paul did there little bro-shake (dude handshake), and he grabbed his jacket, walking out the front door.

I watched as he was leaving. The door slowly opening and then closing it behind him. After he left there was silence throught the living room.

"So," my mom said, finally ending the silence. "How are you feeling? Did you get a fever? Is it gone? Do you feel alright?" She asked. I was bombarded with questions I barely felt like answering.

I didn't need her to question me. I didn't need her to worry. All I needed was Alex. And this worried me. I love Alex, I know that, but I can't. I can't fall in love with him and let him fall in love with me, when its going to end in heartbreak for him.

I decided to answer my mom's many questions, just to get away from the thought that one day I will die, and I will be leaving him behind.

"I'm fine. Alex came by. He took my temperature. It was 101.3, but I don't feel too bad. I still feel sick, though," I said. My mom nodded.

Then Paul walked towards his room, or the kitchen, no telling which he was going to. "Where are you going?" My mom asked.

"To get her medicine. It's already 6:15," he said, glancing at his watch and heading towards the kitchen. I heard the cabinet close. Then his footsteps became audible as he inched closer to me.

"Here," he said handing me too cases of pills and a bottle of water he probably took of the counter. I took the pills from him first and then the water.

"Thanks," I said. The I opened my pink pills. I took out one and popped it in my mouth. Then I took a gulp of water. The I opened the other set of pills and repeated that process.

"How was your day?" Mom asked. "Where you okay?"

I nodded. "You shouldn't be asking me that! I should be asking you about your day and making sure you had fun! Its your birthday, Mom!" I don't know why, but I started crying.

She sat down next to me on the couch. She wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, honey," she said, "What's wrong?" She asked.

"I wanted you to be happy. To go and have fun. Its your birthday, and I just don't want to take all your freedom from you just because I have cancer!" I said, guilt of how much of my mother's life that she was missing out on, hitting me.

She started to cry, too, her tears falling in my hair. "Oh. Nina. Honey, you are my life. My freedom. I'd do anything to make sure that you're okay. Don't feel bad. I've already lived my life. I'm 35. Now it's you who needs to enjoy your life. Every sweet and perfect moment of it." I nodded, at her word, more tears falling.

Paul sat on my other side. "And now I'll be home to make sure that happens." He said.

I positioned my head on mom's shoulder, turning so I could face him. "What?" I asked him, my voice once again raspy, as my sore throat was coming back.

"I was laid off today," he said. Then he looked away from me and my mother as if he couldn't face us, but we were a family, and when something happened to one of us, it happens to all of us.

"Its okay," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder, leading him to look at us again. "We'll get through it. Its not the end of the world." I said to him. He nodded. I took his hand and my mother's hand.

"We're family, and we stick together, forever, no matter what." My mom leaned her head on my shoulder and I leaned mine on Paul's. We stayed here for a moment.

Then once again breaking our silence, my mom said, "So, what do you guys want for dinner?" I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry," I said. "I think I'm just going to head upstairs and go to bed." She nodded.

"But you've already been asleep today," Paul said, "Stay up with me and watch tv." I nodded.

"Okay, but its going to be one of your guy shows, so I'm going to grab my notebook," I responded to him, skipping up the steps.

"Hurry!" He called up to me. I went to my room, and grabbed the notebook in which I started writing my letters to Alex.

I hated that I even had to do this. But he already told me that he loves me. I know that I can't just die and leave him with questions unanswered and feeling sad or depressed. These letters would give him any of the closure that he needed.

I also grabbed my sparkly, pink pen and headed back down the stairs. My mom had gathered two more covers and two pillows. I guess she was joining me and Paul.

Then Paul came out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of popcorn. "Okay," I said, "I was not gone for five seconds. How?" I asked him referring to the magical popcorn that popped in three seconds.

He walked back into the kitchen. Then I heard something open and close. He had a empty bag of popcorn. I laughed. "You always have been the worst cook in the world." I said.

He laughed. Went to go throw the bag away, and sat on the other side of mom. "Honey, what's that?" She asked referring to my notebook. I couldn't tell her what I was doing. She'd get to emotional and say that it wasn't necessary because I wasn't going to die.

But I know the truth. I have cancer. And one day the earth will cease to know me. So I had to lie, "Oh nothing, just a project that I'm working on. With Alex." And that wasn't a complete lie. Because Alec is still involved.