To the One I Loved

Chapter Thirty-Seven: It's All Wrong

Nina's POV:
I pull my arm away from Dr. Sullivan. "What's wrong?" I say. "Is it the baby? Is it me?" No one answers me right away. "Somebody tell me what the hell is going on!" I start yelling.

"Nina! Language!" My mom says. Wow. She's worried about my language when I'm over here about to have a panic attack.

"Nina, I'm so sorry," Dr. Sullivan said. I didn't know what it was, yet, but tears filled my eyes.

"Why are you sorry?" I ask. "Just tell me!" I grip Alex's hand tighter, squeezing it. He squeezes back.

"Nina, honey, just calm down, first," my mom says, stepping towards me. I flinch backwards and she stays where she is.

"We took the baby off of the oxygen tank, because his breathing patterns were fine, and he was in your mom's arms and he was opening his eyes, and was doing fine. And then his eyes closed back, and his pulse died down. And Nina, Alex, I'm sorry, but we've done everything we could," Dr. Sullivan said.

Alex attempts to squeeze my hand, but I pull away from him. I look at my mom. My dad. Paul. I look at Alex's family. And then I look at my baby. My baby boy. My one and only child. I look around the room. I search everyone's faces. Everyone's except for Alex's.

"Nina," he said, and I saw him out of the corner of my eye, reaching for my arm. I pulled away. I couldn't. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't touch him. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't be with him anymore.

I turn and walk out of the room and back to the hospital room in which I slept. I didn't say anything to anyone, I just simply left. And no footsteps followed me. I get to the room. I bust through the door. I take Alex's bag, stuff all of his clothes inside, zip it up and throw it out the door.

Then I pack my own clothes, because healed stitches or not, cancer or not, I'm not staying in the hospital in which they say my baby died. Tears start to fall down my face as I stuff clothes into my bookbag, and my eyes are so watery, it's blurry.

I zip up my bag and throw it onto the bed. I can't tell whether I'm too sad or more pissed. Pissed that I thought that something good could ever happen to me. I sit on the edge of the bed. There's only one person that could relate to how I'm feeling, but I can't talk to him. I can't look at him. He gave me the hope that the one thing I could never have might actually be mines, and it was all a lie. False hope.

The baby had his nose. He perfectly, cute nose. It had his delicate, rounded lips, and his ears. It looked like him so much. And it hurts. I know I'll be able to face him again, but I don't know if I'll be able to love him again. I sigh, taking a death breath and try to stifle sobs.

I never wanted to hurt Alex. I wanted to avoid this whole relationship since day one. Knowing it would in heartbreak for him. Because I'm going to be fine. I'll make myself fine. I just don't know how. I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to touch him and him to touch me anymore. It hurts. And although he said our love will last, I don't think it will.

Because I know how I'm going to get through this, because one thing I'm sure of. And that is that I hate Alex Walker. I hate him for making me fall in love with him even after I said no. I hate him for loving me and setting himself up for depression. And I hate that the one thing I could never have he gave to me and it was taken right away.

I just sat there, sobbing. Then the door opened. I was looking down at my shoes, but I had to know who was standing there. So I looked up. And it just happened to be the one person that I was done with. He walked over and sat on the bed next to me. I didn't make eye contact and I didn't look at his face. I only watched his shoes as they walked over to the bed, and even then my eyes stayed glued to the ground.

"Nina, I know what you're going through," he places his hand on my upper leg. I take a quick glance, but don't let it stay there for long. I scoot over, forcing his hand to rest on the bed. "I love you, and I'm there for you no matter what," he says. He dips his head down to look at my face, our eyes almost meet, but I turn too quickly. "Nina, talk to me. I need to know that you're okay. That we're okay."

I think I give a small, soft laugh, but it's not even funny. "I don't want to be your girlfriend, anymore. I don't even want to be friends anymore. I don't want to live next to you. I don't want to talk to you and most definitely don't want to look at you."

"Wow," he says, "That hurt." And he sounds genuinely hurt. And even though I know that I hate him. I also know that one word he says, will make me love him again. Any small word at the right moment will make me want to love him again. To be with him again. To never want to leave his side. But now, I needed this. I needed to be alone. And since I got pregnant and had to be home-schooled, this makes everything so much easier.

I say one word, "Leave," and almost immediately, he gets up and walks out. I see him bend over to pick up his bag and then he shuts the door.

"Bye, Nina," he says, "I love you."

THE END

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A/N:

And this concludes the ending to the first book.  Thank you to all of my followers, readers, voters, and commenters. I hope this last chapter is enjoyed by all and the next book will be posted soon. You can follow to find out.!

So, yeah. Vote and Comment and tell me in the next book do you think that their love is strong enough, or do you think they won't make it in the end.? I love your feedback, so give it to me.! Thanks <3