I'm here for you (not edited) (Completed)

24

I know my body is going through changes with this pregnancy, I know the stretch marks are signs of how my stomach is making room for my baby to grow inside me. I know that the whole bloating and swelling is part of being pregnant.

But when you hear your husband flirt in front of you and you're already dealing with low self-esteem it tends to destroy you to the point you wanna cry.

and no matter how many times he says he's sorry and you may forgive him the memory of him doing that to you will always be there every time you look at your self.

And that's what been going on since Jax had flirted with that customer.

I stand here looking at my changing body and I want to cry. the tears are there but don't wanna fall no matter how many times I try or will them to. 

"Hey baby?" Jax greets

I close my eyes and close my robe before looking away making my hair fall off my shoulder.

" Hi Jax" I replied as I wiped my eyes.

"what's wrong?" he asked

"just looking at myself" i replied

"perfect body huh?" 

"no it's not."

I can hear him moving around before he lifts my head up and pushes my hair back.

"Open your eyes and look at me" he says 

so I do just that.

"why don't you think it's perfect?" 

"really Jackson?"

"I really wanna know Alanya."

"cause now every time I look at myself I hear you flirting with that customer. and I feel like shit. reguardless of the endless apologizes you've said. its sticking with me since I've been suffering with self esteem issues."

"How can I make you see that what I did was huge mistake and that I regret it. how can I show and make you see that your a stunning woman and I get jealous when we go out and men stare at you thinking you'd drop me for them at any giving time."

I shake my head at him putting this about him.

"forget it Jackson. just worry about you and I'll worry about me."

I move away from him go in our room and start to get dressed.

"what?"

"I talk about me having low self esteem and how I cant get your flirting outta my head and you make it about you. its really fucked up. I mean one minute your caring and wanting to help then bam its about you."

He sighs and rubs his face and went to say something but Abel knocked on the door. So I walked out once I finished and went to let Abel in.

"Hi baby" I greeted him as I knelt down and kissed his cheek.

"Hi mama" he replied with a happy little smile

"is mommy's warrior hungery?" I asked

he nodded 

I stood back up and take his hand and walked out the room.

"what is my little warrior in the mood for this morning?" I asked

"waffs" he says

"chocolate chip?" I asked

he said nothing just nodded hi head

"alright. then after you eat and we get you cleaned up and ready for the day what do you say about you and I going out to the park and maybe the zoo" I asked

"Yea, dada come too?" he asked

"not sure, you'd have to ask him when he comes downstairs" I replied

He nodded his head and went to take a seat at the table while I grabbed the ingredients and make some waffles before I poured Abel a sippy cup of milk then I handed it to him.

"don't drink all of this just a bit for now so you'd have some for your waffles" I tell him

"Otay mama" he says

I smiled and went back to the waffles plating one before I got started on other ones for Jax and myself.

as I was cutting the waffle for Abel Jax came down.

"daddy you come wif mama and I?" Abel asked

"I don't see why I couldn't," Jax tells him

"mama say we go to the park then the zoo" Abel says

I smiled as I placed his cartoon theme plate before him and went back to plate the other waffles and poured Jax some milk before I handed it to him as I poured syrup over Abel's waffle then handed it to Jax as I cleaned up the waffles and grabbed me something quick and simple and warmed it up before grabbing me something to drink.

I am impressed with how good Abel is when it comes to talking. I mean it felt like just yesterday he was taking his first steps and walking. now he's practically racing all over the place and forming big sentences.

"Sounds like a great day for us" Jax says

Abel smiles as he starts to eat while I take a seat across from him since Jax is beside him.

"gotta eat first , get cleaned up, and then we will go from there" I tell him

"yes mama" he says

We sat in comfortable silence as we ate our breakfast.