***
"Ha?! Nagkabalikan na kayo?!" gulat na gulat na tanong ni Andrea. We're done with our work and now we're here at our tent to rest. Uuwi na dapat kami, but since the agencies are happy that they worked with us, they decided to treat us. They even gave us a vacation here for two days. I told Andrea about what happened earlier. I don't know if it is right. Nagpakain ako sa emosyon ko. Nailabas ko ang mga itinatago kong nararamdaman. I still doubt that this is the right time! But what will I do? Nangyari na!
"Not that...Uhm...Well, it's like we're clearing things," hindi ako sigurado sa sagot ko. Ano na nga ba talaga kami ngayon? I thought what happened is only in my imaginations!
"Clearing? Hindi kita maintindihan," kalmado na siya ngayon. Si Matt naman ay tahimik lang do'n sa may sulok at ayaw umimik dahil natatakot na baka sa kaniya maibuhos ang tensyon ng pag uusap namin.
"Ugh! I don't know!" sinabunutan ko ang sarili ko. "I let my emotions eat me! And...It just happened! Hindi ko alam...Tanga nga ata ako,"
Lumapit siya sa 'kin at inakbayan ako. Isinandal ko naman ang ulo ko sa balikat niya.
"Do you regret it?"
"No?" I don't know if I'm sure of that. Hindi ko nga ba talaga pinagsisisihan? Is this what I really want?
"Tell me, do you still have feelings for him? After all that has happened?" she asked. I was not able to answer that. Napatingin naman kami parehas kay Matt nang bigla siyang tumayo. Naiilang pa.
"Uh...Papahangin lang," sabi niya at lumabas ng tent. Maybe he did that to give us privacy. Muli akong napaisip sa tanong ni Andrea sa 'kin.
"You know, a girl like you, doesn't deserve a fake love." Nathan told me. Nakaupo kami sa ilalim ng puno. Malamig ang simoy ng hangin, makulimlim pero hindi umuulan. Payapa ang paligid dahil malayo kami sa ibang estudiyante, at ang iba ay umuwi na.
"But here I am, faking a relationship with a complete stranger," sagot ko. Sa totoo lang, mahirap. Mahirap magpigil ng nararamdaman. I know that this should be fake, but my feelings won't agree with me. I want it to be official. I want to have him. I want to take care of him, for real. I want to love him for real. Nakakasawa rin kasi na may limit ang lahat ng dapat kong gawin. Why? Because it's fake.
