***
All of the things suddenly flashed back to me. After seeing him, again. It makes me angry to think that we always see each other at different times. I suddenly remembered all of the burden that he gave to me. And the part that they lied to me, I spent days enjoying with his brother because I thought it was him! I felt like a complete idiot!
His brother is the one who put me in danger. That's another reason why I'm so mad at them, I just hate the fact that I have to suffer from all of these. When the thing that I want is just to be happy, for my friends to be happy and to have our safety.
We've been looking at each other for a long time, before he took a move. Slowly, he walked towards me. Still giving those sincere gaze, making my whole body melt. I couldn't move. My heart and mind isn't composed. They're telling me two different things.
My mind tells me to go away, because I no longer trust this man that much. But, this stupid heart tells me to stay and give him a chance to say what's on his mind. I couldn't decide.
'Till he's already standing in front of me, he's still looking at me the same way. I felt like my whole body froze. It's like I'm hypnotized. We looked at each other, as if it's just the two of us and nothing else exist in this world. Then he suddenly gave me a warm hug, as if he's waited for this moment to happen for a very long time.
"I missed you," he whispered. Slowly brushing my hair, trying to make me feel relaxed. Tears burst out of my eyes. My feelings can no longer be explained. I don't want him to be with me at this moment, but I miss him so much. After all these years, nothing changed. It's just so hard to move on, I don't know why.
He looked at me and gently wiped my tears. I couldn't look at him straight in the eyes. I feel so fragile. If I look at him, I might forget everything that I promised to myself. That I'll forget about him.
"Hush, love. I'm here now," he said. And gently brushed his thumb in my cheeks.
I looked away, and took a step back. I wiped my tears away and calmed my self down. When I looked at him, his eyes where full of shock. The sincerity still reflects, but I can already sense sadness in him.
"Stop calling me that. There's nothing between us," I said.
"I never thought of it that way. To me, there's always an us, it's just that the world is giving us challenges that we should face," he whispered. Looking at me with such pitiful eyes.
"Well, I don't. I gave up on you years ago, I told you it isn't right. Ayoko nang magkaroon pa ng utang na loob sa'yo. Thank you for saving me back there, but it doesn't mean that we're okay and that we're back to the usual us," I answered him.
Silence surrounded us. Tears fell again from my eyes. I cried so hard, he tried to touch me to wipe my tears away, but then I took a step back. Ayoko na. I don't want to spend another hour with him, or even a minute. Nakakapagod din kasing ipilit ang hindi pwede.
"Please, just let go of me, even our past. I don't want to be with you anymore," I said as I cried. I'm trying so hard to contain myself so that I can express all the words that I've been keeping since the day I left him. But, I can't. Pinangungunahan na ako ng emosyon ko.
"Zakrishna, we may have made a mistake before, but-"
"That's the point! We made a big mistake! The biggest mistake I ever made in my life was that day when I said yes to your fucking contract! That's where all of these damn things started! I could've lived a better life without you!" my voice broke as I tried to scream every pain that I'm keeping.
His eyes were full of shock. I know, all of my words are unbelievable. After all the things he did for me and my friends, this is what he's getting from me.
I looked at him, angrily but with the deepest pain at the same time.
"I don't want to be with you, ever again!" I said and walked away. I don't know why but I looked back at him for one last time. He's looking at me, full of pain and sorrow. But after a while, he smiled a bit and those sincerity overflows.
"I respect your decision, I'm sorry if everything is so hard for you because of me. Forget the contract, and everything else. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I just want to be someone who supports you, even from afar," he said and smiled a bit. His eyes are now forming tears, but I can see he's trying to stop them from falling, by covering it with sweet smiles.
I turned back from him. And closed my eyes.
"Thank you, for all of your sacrifices. I'm sorry if it has to end this way, I'm just so scared to try again, after what you and your brother did to me years ago. I can't give that trust to you again," I said and slowly walked away. But before I closed the door, I heard him say the words which struck my heart, again.
"I love you, Zakrishna. Always and forever,"
Those were the last words I heard from him, before I finally closed the door and walked away. From afar, I can still see the warehouse where I left him, and all of the things between us.
"I love you too, Jonathan," I said and ran away. He's completely right, we're under the same skies. Cause no matter where I go, there's still chances that we might see each other.
...
