***
I waited for hours. Her parents went outside when the doctors started the operation and to check her condition. I'm so worried, is she traumatized? She told me she was supposed to tell me something back then, but because of the things that happened, she wasn't able to continue it. But, what's important for now, is that I want her and her baby to survive.
"Nandito ka pa pala," I saw her mother standing in front of me. I stood up and looked down, bowed a bit.
"Saan ka kumukuha ng kapal ng muka, para manatili dito?" she was calm this time. But I can still feel how deeply mad she is. To me.
"I, I just want to be with your daughter," I said in my calmest tone.
"Huh? And do you really think I believe you? The smallest lies can break the biggest trust! Remember that young lady," she said and left me alone. Her words, marked in me, again.
I never lied to their family. It is true that I always protected Eunice as hard as I can. Or maybe, I didn't do enough? Maybe I really wasn't there at her hardest times?
It is true that I kept something from her, but that is to keep her safe. Because I know she's suffering from a condition. I still thought of her health first before me, but why it turns out na ako pa rin ang may kasalanan. Bakit parang ako pa ang mali.
"Why am I such as failure," I whispered to myself, as my tears fell. Hindi ko na kaya. They just fell out, I always show people how tough I am. I don't cry in front of other people that much, because I know they have their own struggles too. And I don't want to add up to that. Pero, it just hurts to think, na dahil sa katitiis ko, I have no one by my side now. It's just me, I have no one to catch me when I am in need.
I know Andrea is always there, but I don't want to bother her.
Tanga ata ako.
Nagulat na lang ako na may nag aayos na ng buhok ko. Even covered me with a warm jacket and wiped my tears.
"Dre pano mo naman nalaman na nandito ako," I said without looking. Nakapikit lang kasi ako, letting my tears fall out. I know it's her, there's no one who knows where I am right now kung hindi siya.
