***
He was holding my hand while we're on our way to his mansion. Pupunta muna kami sa mansion niya para magpahinga, then we'll go to our old house after dahil doon magkikita kita ang lahat. Kasama rin namin ang driver niya. We heard from his sources na pauwi na rin dito sa Pilipinas ang pamilya ko. Up to now, I'm very nervous. Who knows what will happen, right? I'm afraid of what might be the outcome of it. I'm afraid that I might not get what I'm expecting. Na... baka hindi pala ito ang panahon o ang paraan para magkaayos kami.
I don't know. But there's a big part of me that wants this to work so bad. Gusto ko na talaga. I've been so lonely. I have true friends, I have the man of my life, I have a job, but I don't have a family. I will forever be alone, without them.
It's been so long. Ni hindi ko na nga alam kung ano ang itsura nila. And I know, na hindi na rin nila ako kaagad makikilala. Wala sila sa halos kalahati ng pagtanda ko. Hindi nila nasaksihan ang mga na-achieve ko sa buhay. But that's okay. Shit happens. At the end of the day, I still expect for something that's positive. I really do.
Natauhan akong muli nang maramdaman ko ang yakap ni Nathan. I looked at him, eyes full of curiosity.
"Something wrong?" I asked. He looked at me and smiled.
"I'm sorry," he said. Kumunot kaagad ang noo ko. Is it because I got angry at him a while ago? When we're at the plane? I was just joking! Gusto ko lang talaga ng lambing.
"For our little argument? That's fine! I was just joking! It's only a little-"
"For not being there." he continued. Napatahimik ako. I looked at him directly in the eyes. Napuno ang utak ko ng mga tanong. Why? It isn't his fault that it happened.
"I'm sorry, because you had to go through all of that. And I was not there. Now, I can see how afraid you were 9 years ago. I'm sorry that... you were alone," he said. Kita ko ang pagsisisi sa mga mata niya. He isn't crying, he's just showing a cold expression. But, when you truly love a person or a being, you can see the pain that they're hiding.
The eyes never lie.
I held his hand, and smiled.
